Musical Destiel
by blackromanceangel274
Summary: Listening to music and writting Destiel stories out of some of the songs. (feel free to suggest a song in a comment/review)
1. Circle the drain

**Song 1: Katy Perry - Circle The Drain...**

_**(You are more than welcome to suggest a song to me. I'm more than willing to give it ago.)**_

Sure Dean had never been a light drinker, but lately Cas had noticed that Dean was drinking more and more. Sam told him not to worry about it but Castiel couldn't help it.

One night Sam went out all he said to Cas before he left was that he would be back sometime tomorrow. Castiel wasn't really interested about Sam he was trying to watch over Dean; who was drinking himself to death these past few weeks.

"Don't worry Cas, this is the last one" Dean hiccuped as he tried to grasp the beer bottle in front of him to down the last drop.

"You said that, four beers ago" Castiel rolled his eyes as he walked over to Dean. "This isn't a holiday, what are you celebrating?"

"Life" Dean said standing up and accidentily dropping the bottle, causing it smashed, "Oppos" he laughed, "clean that up will you? I'm going to get another." Dean could barley walk.

"No" Castiel said waving a hand to clean up Dean's mess, "your going to sleep. Now!"

"You're not the boss of me!" Dean shouted, taking another beer from one of the packs he brough earlier that day.

"Why should I not drink? I work hard! I deserve to relax and -" Dean began but he was cut off. By Castiel saying,

"You always give 100 reasons why! If I had a dollar for every time I heared you say just one more the past few weeks, I could buy a bank!"

"Are you using sarcasm on me?"

"No. I've been counting and I really would be able to buy a bank if I had a dollar for every time you said that!" Castiel said sitting opposite him at the table.

"Why don't you have one?" Dean offered.

"No! I drank once before. I was a mess when I came out of it" Castiel rubbed the back of his neck. "Dean, what is the matter? Why are you doing this?"

"I'm sick of burying my friends! Sick of watching them die! Sick of them leaving! I just want to forget about things, for awhile at least!" Dean shouted throwing the bottle he was holding.

"You are a hero, Dean. You could be the greatest hero, but you'd rather get wasted!"

"What are you saying?" Dean asked gesturing for Cas to clear up his mess yet again.

"I'm not going to stay and watch you go down!" Castiel shouted and got ready to leave.

"Wait" Dean begged graping his sleeve.

"I am not here to be your mother Dean. I want to be -" Castiel stopped himself before he said the _'your lover.' _

"Cas, things are getting harder to deal with by the day, I can't have you walk out on me too"

"I don't want to stay and watch you circle the drain while you drink yourself to death" Castiel shouted pulling his arm from Dean clasp.

"You think your so rock and roll, don't you?" Castiel turned to Dean, "you are no more than a joke now Dean!"

"I love you Cas" Dean bulleted out turning his back on the angel.

"You won't remember that in the morning!" Castiel shouted.

"I will!" Dean shouted back, "I'm not drunk!"

"Prove it!"

Dean tried walking in a straight line but he tripped over his own feet.

"That's what I thought!" Castiel said sternly holding his hand out for Dean to take.

"Can I have one more?" Dean asked as the angel hurled him to his feet.

"No!"

"Why?"

"Because your already half gone!"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I love you too Dean" Castiel was tearing up from having to see Dean like this.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I was afraid, the only reason I'm telling you now is because I know you won't remember in the morning" Castiel pulled Dean into a hug. "I can't be your savior Dean" he admitted pulling away. "I don't have the power...not if I have to watch you kill yourself!"

Castiel walked over to the sink and got a bucket from the cupboard under it and brought it back over to Dean and held it out in front of him.

"Thanks Cas" Dean said as he puked up his last few drinks.

"It's okay" Castiel said sitting Dean on the end of the bed and rubbing his back closing his eyes and turning his head every time Dean was sick.

"I'm sorry you have to see me like this" Dean coughed whipping his mouth on the tissue Cas handed him.

"I've seen you bleeding, possessed, angry, sad, being tortured and torturing others. I'm sure I can handle watching you vomit. Are you done?" Cas asked when he looked back at Dean.

"For now" Dean swallowed.

"Any more just say" Castiel nodded cleaning the bowl out and laying on the floor.

"Cas" Dean looked up at the angels face and smiled,

"Yes, Dean"

"I love you"

"I love you too. Now go to bed!"

"Will you lay with me?"

"Yes" Castiel nodded as he layed on the bed next to Dean, "I don't sleep though."

"I know. I just want to be with you."

"Okay."

Castiel sighed as Dean cuddled up to him under the covers. He knew Dean wouldn't remember any of this in the morning and that he would be confused and Castiel knew Dean didn't really love him either! But Castiel was happy to finally confess to Dean his true feelings but it made him sad to know that Dean didn't really know. He wasn't really himself and would wake up with a hang over and then he'd be confused to find Castiel laying next to him as well, but when Castiel felt Dean's heart beat he couldn't bring himself to move away.

"Thank you for everything Cas" Dean whispered in his ear.

"Your welcome" Castiel said back, he was trying to pluck up the courage to kiss Dean's forehead but he was too nervous. _'Just do it!' _He said to himself. _'He won't remember it happening!' _Castiel took a deep breath and finally placed his lips to Dean's forehead and kissed it. Dean smiled as he felt Castiel's lips on his head. He moved up slightly so they were face to face and Dean kissed Castiel's lips. Castiel couldn't bring himself to stop Dean mid way though and Dean started deepening the kiss. Castiel knew he should. He knew it meant nothing to Dean, but it meant a lot to him. Sure Castiel didn't want their first kiss to be a drunken blur that Dean might later come to regret and get angry at Cas for not stopping him but Castiel couldn't help it. Castiel was about to stop Dean and tell him that if he really loved him then he can kiss him in the morning. But Dean was already asleep.

The next morning, Dean woke up. He noticed that no one was next to him as he felt around the bed, but the sheets next to him were warm so someone was in there with him last night and only recently left. He peeled his eyes open. His head, he saw some water and pain pills on the bed side table. Sam walked in the front door slamming the door behind him.

"Dammit Sam, Shut up will ya" Dean groaned as he took the pills.

"Sorry, thought you would still be asleep, where's Cas?" Sam apolaigzed watching his brother drink the glass of water.

"Cas? I don't know! I don't remember where he went? What did I do?" Dean asked holding his head in his hands.

"I don't know. What do you remember?" Sam asked sitting on the chair at the table facing his brother.

"I remember, you saying you'd come back in the morning. I remember being sick. I remember - shit!" Dean said as he watched the flash back of Castiel pushing Dean off him. "I kissed him!"

"What!" Sam laughed a little.

"He stopped me!"  
"Wow"

"It's not funny. You know how I feel about him. Now he knows too"

"He properly just thinks it's the alcohol Dean. Don't worry."

Suddenly there was a flutter of wings as the trench coated angel appeared by the bed side.

"Dean" Castiel said forcing him to look up, "your awake. I brought breakfast."

"Thanks"

"How do you feel?"  
"Hung over!" Dean said taking the bag from Cas as Castiel layed a hand on Dean head,  
"better?" he asked.

"Yeah. Thanks" Dean smiled at the angel as he tucked into his bagel. "Cas, last night. I might have said somethings or done somethings"

"like what?" Castiel asked trying to hid the fact that he hoped Dean remembered the kiss,

"I don't remember. But incase I did; it was just the alcohol. I hope I didn't do anything that would ruin the friendship" Dean said blushing a little.

"Do you want to remember? I can show you!" Castiel suggested hoping Dean would say no he wouldn't find out about Castiel's feelings.

"That would be great, Cas" Dean said smiling. Castiel although disappointed done it anyway. Dean's mouth feel open as he stood up and kissed the angle again.

"I said I loved you and I meant it. Why would you think, I was lying?" Dean asked as he pulled away.

"I don't know" Castiel shrugged.


	2. If your gone

**Song 2:Matchbox 20 - If your gone...**

Dean lay in bed. He should have seen it coming. He had felt Castiel slipping away for days. Now he had finally gone and taken the angel tablet with him! No matter how many times Dean prayed Castiel wouldn't come. Sure before Castiel left he had beaten the shit out of Dean but he also healed him after. Dean knew it wasn't Castiel's fault, it was Naomi (whoever she was.) Dean heard Castiel talking to her the last time he saw him. Now Dean was laying in bed, feeling around for Castiel's body next to him where he used to lay at night. Dean was scared now, his angel. The one who always protected him, always looked out for him, always cared even when they were fighting was gone now. Maybe for good this time! He thought he heared a flutter of wings, and then the door to the motel open, but when he looked up no one was there, just Sam asleep in the other bed.

Dean sighed and closed his eyes in the attempt to finally get to sleep tonight. It must have been a few minutes, but he felt something. Like someone had crept into bed behind him, the way Cas use to, Dean deiced it was time to go to bed. He felt the breath on his neck and he smiled. He knew it was a dream but he didn't care. Not anymore. He turned to face Cas.

"Hello, Dean" the angel whispered his wings shielding the hunter possessively.

"Cas" Dean felt like he was going to cry.

"Dean" Castiel replied with a smile as he planted a kiss on Dean's lips. "You're angry?"

"You're mean, Cas!" Dean said biting his lip to hold back a cry. "I think we should try."

"I know" Castiel's eyes were full of sorrow. And Dean knew he was only dreaming Castiel, but it seemed so real. He knew that Castiel wasn't there. Castiel was hiding the angel table from him and Sam.

"Don't you trust me Cas?" Dean asked.

"You know I do Dean" Castiel said as his hand slid up into Dean's hair.

"Then why are you hiding the tablet from me and Sam?"

"Because, Dean, if I had it and stayed, Naomi would use you two as bait! Use the love I have for you, to take me down. I can't have that Dean. I love you." 

Dean couldn't hold it back anymore. He didn't care that he was dreaming, he didn't care that Sam might hear him, he didn't care about anything. Not anymore!  
"I need this in my life Cas!" he whispered him is lovers ear.

"Need what Dean?"

"You."

He heard Castiel sigh and kiss his lips again.

"I think I'm just scared - I think too much" Castiel said as Dean looked into his eyes. "I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing with! I do trust you. And couple aren't meant to have secrets. But I can't put you in danger like that!"

"If you're gone - baby it's time to go home. There's enough breathing for you in here to, Cas. Without you, I can hardly move! Baby you need to come home."

"There's a little bit of me, in everything you do. Dean. I'm always with you" Castiel took one of Dean hands in his and kissed every finger.

"You're hard to get over, Castiel" Dean said staring into Castiel's baby blue eyes.

"Maybe it's time to go home" Castiel sighed again, and Dean couldn't help but cry at his words.

"Yes, it is. Please. Come home to me. Baby. Please" Dean begged wrapping his arms around the angel and holding him as tight as he could. "I'm just scared - do I talk too much."

"Dean, the problem isn't you. It's heaven. I would love to be back with you Dean and I hope that when all this is over we can still be together."

"I could never love anyone else, Cas. You are the only one for me. You know that!"

"I know. Thank you Dean"

Dean's tears were stinging his lips as they feel into the bites on his lower lip, where he was always biting them.

"Dean, you have to wake up" Castiel said.

"You won't be there If do, will you?"

"No."

"Then I can't" Dean cried and held his angel so tight he couldn't breath, but he didn't care anymore. It was only a dream he was breathing fine but he didn't want to loose Cas again.

"Dean, wake up!" Castiel's voice had changed in Sam's and finally Dean did open his eyes to fine Sam leaning over him.

"Sam" Dean rubbed his eyes as he sat up.


	3. Lips of an angel

**Song 3:Hinder - Lips of an angel...**

Deans cell phone rang when he checked the caller ID he almost dropped it, Castiel was calling him. Lisa looked at Dean and suddenly came concerned,

"Dean, are you gonna answer it?" she asked standing in the door way in her night gown, "It's time to go to bed."

"I know" Dean said standing up of the bed, "you lay down, I'll be back in second. Sorry about this" he kissed on the check as he wondered into the bathroom to take the call.

"Cas?" he whispered,

"Dean" Castiel voice was shaking a little.

Dean's mouth dropped, "Oh my god, it's really you?" Dean was so happy to hear Castiel's voice he almost jumped for joy. He hadn't seen the angel since his brother jumped into Lucifers cage.

"Yes, Dean, it's me" Castiel didn't sound to pleased to be him right now.

"Why are you calling me so late? It's not really the best to for me to talk, Cas" Dean said even though he didn't want to hang up. It felt so good to hear Castiel's voice again.

"I'm sorry Dean" Castiel apolaigzed, "I just really miss you."

Dean and Castiel were lovers for a while but after Sam jumped into Satan's box and Castiel went back to hell they deiced it was a good idea to move on from each other even though it pained them both to admit it was a good idea.

"Honey, why you crying? Is everything okay?" Dean asked, he could practicality hear Castiel's tears hit the floor as they fell from his eyes.

"It's been a long time since you called me that" Castiel smiled a little at his old nickname but that wasn't why he called Dean. "Why are you whispering?"

"I have to whisper. I can't be too loud. Lisa's next door" Dean replied, "don't change the subject! Whats the matter?"

"It's heaven Dean" Castiel finally said.

"What about it?"

"It doesn't want me. Anymore"

"Your falling?" Dean asked with a slight element of surprise, in all honesty he saw it coming since Castiel helped him get to Sam the day the Lucifer rose from hell.

"They want to send me to hell for a few months, then I can return an angel and get back to heaven instead of falling" Castiel corrected him.

"You'd rather go to hell than fall?" Dean asked.

"If I fall what do I get out of it. I become human, that's it. And it hurts for days"

"Days, Cas, hell hurts for what feels like years!"

"If I fall, I'll be alone forever" Castiel said.

"No, you won't I'll always be here for you. See, you know my girl in the next room, sometimes I kinda wish she was you" Dean admitted lowering his voice as low as he could.

"I guess we never really did move on, did we, Dean?" Castiel smiled again, whipping his tears away.

"No Cas, we didn't. It sounds great to hear you say my name again. You make it sound so sweet"

"I never wanna say goodbye again, Dean. I never did in the first place, but my brothers and sisters. I thought they needed me" the angels voice became sad again.

"I thought they did too. I dreamt of you last night again Cas"

"You did?"

"Yeah. It was nice thought. I missed you so much. Did you tell the angels your talking to me?"

"No"

"They'll start a fight!"

"I know, I'm sorry. Does Lisa know about us? You know, what we used to be?"

"I honestly don't think she has a clue" Dean chuckled a little.

"Do you think I should fall Dean?" Castiel asked,

"Yes. Then you come home to me, Cas. And we can try to work this out"

"Ok. If you think that would be best, but are you sure? I know you said you wanted a normal life and all that."

"Are you kidding. I've been inching for a hunt for weeks now. At first it was nice to settle down and take a break but I'm dying to get back out there and hunt down some evil sons-of-a-bitch's again. With Sam, with you. I miss doing that, Cas. I really do."

"Okay."

"Cas, when you fall, do you know where you'll land. I'll meet you there" Dean said getting up off the toilet and thinking of some lie to tell Lisa so he could be reunited with his angel again.

"I should by my vessel's house. It seems logical."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"If your sure. I'm on my way there. I'll take care you, I promise!"  
"Thank you Dean" Castiel said hanging up.


	4. Love isn't always fair

**Song 4:Black Veil Brides - Love isn't always fair...**

Castiel looked at Dean, and Dean just stared right back at him. It was the awkwardness of the moment that finally made Dean cave in a press his lips to Castiel's. If the fact that Dean cursed right after he pulled away a few seconds later, made Castiel fall in love then it was the fact that Dean ran out after pulling away.

It was hard for Castiel to cope after their kiss. Dean was avoiding him whenever he could. All Dean had to do was look at Cas and he was ready to sell his soul for just one more kiss or even for the hunter to just talk to him again. Castiel was love sick, if it was even possable for you tell when an angel is love sick. Dean had Castiel on his knees, he took all of the angels innocence.

Not many days after their kiss, Sam had stayed back the motel room to do some research and Dean had agreed with Sam to take Castiel to interview a witness, since Castiel mentioned that he wanted to be a hunter a few weeks ago, it was a good idea to get him started on talking to people. Work on his people skills.

"Dean" Castiel piped up after 5 minutes of a painfully silent drive,

"drop it Cas. I don't want to talk about it" Dean said not taking his eyes of the road.

"Why?" Castiel asked, "Dean, I don't want that to be our only kiss. You lips buried me Dean."

"Cas, I said drop it! The moments past. I'm sorry I ever done it!" The hunter shouted.

"Why are you sorry? I put us in that situation! I'm not sorry" Castiel used his angelic powers to pull the car over.

"Cas!" Dean shouted again.

"I just want to talk to you, Dean" Castiel said as the hunter turned to look at him.

"What is it!"

"I won't talk unless you stop shouting! I don't like it when you shout!" Castiel looked out the window.

"Castiel, the only reason I don't want to talk about it is because I know theres no point!"

"Why? Dean, I want you" Castiel said.

"Love isn't always fair" Dean said, "now start the car. Innocent people are dying because of this stupid thing!"

"Now it's stupid" Castiel meet Deans gaze.

"Would you just drop it!"

"Not until you start being honest with me!" Castiel shouted back, "I know your lying about something!"

"Like what?" Dean asked lowering his voice, "You only ever want someone you can't have. If you had me, you wouldn't want me anymore Cas!"

"I'd take anything you give to me. A kiss, a hug, a glance. I never want it to end" Castiel said.

"It's only a temporary feeling Cas. Love never latests!" Dean explained.

"If your not willing to try, you'll never know" Castiel crossed his arms and lowered his head. Dean was so frustrating at times, he didn't know how he could put with the hunter.

"Cas. I can't" Dean sighed running a hand through his hair.

"Can't or won't?"

"I won't okay!"

"Why not?"

"I know it won't last. My love never does! Now shut up! Start the car back up we have a witness to talk to!" Dean was shouting again. The car started but when Dean looked at the shotgun seat, Castiel was gone. He sighed in frustration, again. But he went on with Castiel to talk to the witness.

Dean opened the door to the motel room.

"Where's Cas?" Sam asked looking up.

"I don't know. He took off before we even got to the house" Dean layed his keys on the counter.

"What?" Sam asked, "what did you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?"

"You always do something!"

"Oh, so it's my fault that we got put in that awkward situation a few days ago. My fault I kissed him. My fault he fall in love with me and now it's my fault that took of after I told him love wasn't always fair."

"You douche bag" Sam shouted standing up.

"What?"

"You kissed him and that made him fall in love, when he comes clean what you have to say is '_love isn't always fair?_' That's kinda insensitive, since yeah, it is kinda your fault."

"Really, Sam" Dean asked, "my fault? I didn't put us in that situation!"

"No but you did kiss him. Why did you kiss him?" Sam asked, he let Dean think about it for a few seconds before he continued, "Because you love him too. You know you do. But no, there's something wrong with it. Is it the fact that his an angel? No it can't be because so was Anna when you slept with her! It must be because he's a male. Well in a male vessel!"

"Your a bastard" Dean said fitting his tears back, "how long have you known?"

"For a long time. I knew before you did! I see the way you look at him. I use to look at Gabriel like that. When I think about him I smile, just like you do when you see Cas. Dean, it's obvious. Maybe that's why he took off. He knows how you feel and his disappointed that your to coward to show it!"

"Do you think love is always fair then?" Dean asked.

"Don't turn this around on me! You are in love with an angel. In love with Cas. Not his vessel! Maybe you should get over the gender issue and think about the thing inside the body. The angel you fell for and learn to deal with the fact that you are even just a little attracted to his vessel, Jimmy! But only because of who lives in it. Let's face it looks are nothing if the personality is ugly! Now call your fuckin' angel and confess. Or so help me I will confess for you!" Sam ordered.


	5. Hurricane

**Song 5: Theory Of A Deadman - Hurricane...**

"Dammit, Cas, we can fix this!" Dean shouted staring the angel in the face. How did he not see this coming. He was an idiot for listening to Sam and Bobby. An idiot for going off with Ben and Lisa and leaving Castiel to go to back to heaven, if he'd of stayed, Castiel would have let him help and not resorted to working with Crowley.

"Dean, it's not broken!" Castiel replied looking from the holy fire that surrounded him. Crowley was closing in. "Run. You have to run now. RUN!"

Dean opened the door and allowed Bobby and Sam to leave first, he looked back at Castiel, he seemed so helpless. In his blue eyes Dean could see how sorry he really was. Did Cas, really think that Dean wouldn't have helped him if he asked? Dean wasn't sure he should leave Cas alone. He ran out after Sam and Bobby anyway.

Now that Cas had done that, he'd saved nothing, he'd gained nothing. All he did was lose. He lost his best friends. The man he had fallen for the day he recused him from hell, and now he'd dammed them all, himself included.

"You okay Dean?" Sam asked as they got inside the impala.

"I'm fine" Dean said sternly.

"It's just, I know how you felt about him" Sam said as Dean started the car.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"Who do you think you're talking boy" Bobby spoke up in the back seat, "I saw the look on your face when he walked through the door the first day you meet him. I've seen the look on your face every god-damn time he walks or flies in. I've heared you try to keep the love out of your voice when you talk to the angel. And even though he's betrayed all of us, you still love him don't ya!"

"None of that matters anymore" Dean shouted wishing they would change the subject.

"Why doesn't it matter?" Sam asked turning to his brother.

"I'm only hurt Sam, and if feeling this pain will help me get to the other side then I'm gonna deal with it in my own way!"

"Burying it and ignoring it, is not dealing with it, Dean!" Bobby shouted.

"Can we not talk about this?" Dean asked as he pulled up in Bobby's drive way.

That night Dean layed on the sofa in Bobby's living room. Remembering the days when his angel was good. Thinking about how it got this bad. If he hadn't of done what Sam wanted, if he hadn't of gone back to Lisa, if he'd of carried on hunting, Castiel would have let him help. It was because he was normal for a few months. Castiel had let him carry on like. Castiel thought he was happy. Dean was never happy. Even when he was with Lisa. Sure he was sorta happy but even with Lisa he was missing Castiel and Sam and Bobby. He was itching to go hunting again even when he had a kid too look after. Monsters are easier to deal with that kids. Monsters you can kill and nobody asks questions! Kill a kid everyone wants to know why, so you gotta put up with them. Dean throw his hand at the wall and screwed up his eyes in pain. Why was he so stupid? Why did he listen to Sam? He never listened to him before, why did he start then? When the man he loved needed him! Dean knew that blaming himself wouldn't do anything but he also knew that no one else was to blame.


	6. Fix you

**Song 6: Coldplay - Fix you...**

"What the hell!" Dean shouted just managing to swerve the car around the man knelling in the road. Sam and Dean got out the car in order to find out why the guy was in the middle of the road in the middle of the night. But when they got out he was gone, but there was another body laying in the road. As Dean started down at it, he hoped he was wrong about who it was. He turned the body over to see it's face, as if the trench coat didn't give it way already, he just wanted to be sure. He prayed to god he was wrong but he wasn't. It was Castiel!

"Oh my god!" Sam clapped a hand to his mouth. Dean was rubbing his eyes and pinching himself, _'It's just a dream. A bad dream. It's not Cas. It's a dream. You'll wake up soon!' _But of corse he never did. "Dean come on let's get him in the Impala take him back to the motel!" Sam ordered. "Dean" he pushed his older brother lightly, "help me put him in the car."

"His bleeding!" Dean shouted.

"We'll fix at the motel. Dean, listen to me, Castiel will be okay. He always is, his an angel. Remember!" Dean nodded and picked up Castiel from under his arms, causing him to stire a little,

"It's ok, Cas. Me and Sam are gonna fix you. Do some of that magical angel healing and tell us what happened when we get to the motel"

Meanwhile Sam held Castiel's legs. Carefully they place him in the back of the Impala, laying down with a hand over his wound.

"Shouldn't he be healed already?" Dean asked starting the car before closing his door.

"Maybe his just a little run down. I'm sure even angel get tired at some point, Dean" Sam explained, "keep your eyes on the road! Dean!" Sam shouted closing his eyes. As Dean quickly swerved the car around an old lady who was crossing the road.

"My apologizes" he said out the window as he jumped a red light because he wasn't paying attention.

"Dean! Eyes on the road!" Sam shouted again. "Pull over! I'll drive. You can watch Cas in the shotgun seat but not the drivers seat!"

Dean followed Sam's orders and changed seats. He didn't take his of Cas the whole ride. Castiel had seemed to have passed out in the back because he wasn't moving. From Dean could see in the darkness, Cas was still breathing, which was a good sign. Sam pulled up in the motel car park.  
"Open the door!" Dean ordered getting out to pull Castiel's arm around his shoulder to carry him into the motel room and laying him on the bed.

"Go find something to stop the bleeding" Dean ordered.

"Right" Sam headed out the door.

"Cas, please tell me you can hear me" Dean shouted as he pull Castiel's trench coat and suit jacket off of him and tossed them on the floor. "Cas!" He undone the buttons to Cas's shirt and threw it down by the trench coat and jacket.

The flesh wound looked so deep, as if fixing it was going to imposable, but Dean just kept saying to himself, _'his gonna be fine. His gonna wake up soon. He just needs some time to recharge. He'll wake up soon.' _Although he didn't. Dean poured whiskey over the cut to clean it out before rubbing salt into it as well. "Sam, you better hurry up" he shouted hoping his brother could still hear him. Dean whipped up the drops that were still falling, "Your meant to be healing!" Dean was crying now. His best friend was dying when he was meant to getting better. "What am I superposed to do?" Dean asked pressing his face into Castiel's bare chest.

"I found some bandages and some Vaseline" Sam said walking in the door again.  
"What took so long?" Dean asked snatching them out Sam's hand. After applying Vaseline to the wound Dean wrapped the bandage all the way around Castiel's waist. Until the blood was no longer visible throw the marital.

"Do you want some time alone?" Sam asked.

"Why should I? He was your friend too, besides he'll wake up in a second. Give him some time. He'll be up and kicking and telling us we're both idiot for thinking he was in any danger. Just you watch!" Dean said, his hopes were way too high and Sam knew it but he didn't want to bring his brother down so they just sat around waiting.

About a day after that, Sam had said several times that Dean should call someone to come and pick the body up but Dean refused again and again. Then one day Sam was out buying something for a spell to summon a demon so they could finally kill it before it does anymore damage to the town and Dean had said he'd rather stay back at the motel with Cas. Dean heared Castiel move, when he looked up the angel was in the same place he'd always been. Suddenly he heard a scream of pain.

"Cas!" He shouted getting up. Castiel was crying in his pain as he wriggled around on the bed,

"it hurts" he whimpered.

"What hurts?" Dean helped the angel to his feet. After a few more minutes of crying and complaining how much it hurt, Castiel finally said, "Dean. My wings"

"What about them?"

"Their gone" and at the moment, Dean was looking into the angel's blue eyes and he saw something break. It was quick but he saw it. The damp that held back everything that angels weren't meant to feel. Dean looked over Castiel's shoulder to see his back, sure enough two long slits were there, along with a lot of blood and a few stray black feathers.

"Cas" Dean was almost lost for words. He just held the angel close.

"What am I meant to do now?" the angel cried pushing his face into Deans shoulder as tear feel from his eyes.

"I don't know" Dean said, "I'm sorry, Cas. Who did this to you? Was it the guy knelling over you?"

"Micheal" Castiel said between sobs.

"Your brother?"

"My ex-brother."


	7. Enternal

**Song 7: Evanescence - Enteral...**

_(This song was a request... It was kind of a challange but I think it turned out okay.)  
_

Dean was looking out the window, watching the rain as it fell. He hadn't seen Castiel since he rebelled against heaven for them, Sam had passed out on the bed a few hours ago and was snoring, this was the reason Dean couldn't sleep. Suddenly there was a flutter of wings and Dean saw the angel reflected in the window.

"Cas" he smiled turning to face Castiel.

"Hello, Dean" Castiel's voice was plain but there was a slight hint of sorrow in his eyes.

"What's up?" Dean asked noticing the angels sad blue eyes.

"They lied to me" Castiel muttered taking a seat by the window.

"Who?"

"The angels" Castiel looked at the rain drops on the window.

"About what?" Dean sat next to Cas but spared Sam a glance to check he was still asleep.

"Everything, Dean" Castiel's voice cracked slightly. "They said that stopping the was right but they didn't mean it. They told me you and Sam were going to be okay. They told me everyone wanted paradise. They said -" Castiel was interrupted.

"They told you god wanted the end of the world" Dean added, "yeah well, angel's are just dicks with wings."

"I'm losing faith, Dean" Castiel mentioned finally taring his face from the window to meet Deans gaze.

"It's better to have a mind opened by wonder than one close by belief" the hunter said failing to look anywhere but the blue eyes opposite him.

"Unless your an angel" Castiel corrected him. They sat in silence for a few minutes. Like they usually do they just stared into each others eyes, blinking on the odd occasion.

"So, what do you do now?" Dean asked finally turning his eyes back to the rain outside the motel room.

"Try to stop Lucifer" Castiel answered flicking his eyes to the dusty floor.

"So, you'll help us?" Dean asked looking back at Castiel,  
"What else do you think I should do? You saved me from myself, I owe Sam and you a lot. And I'm not too keen on the idea of the human race dying out. Heavens crowed enough already"

"Did you just, try to make a joke?" Dean asked unsure of wether not laughing was the right thing to do.

"No. Why? Was that funny?" Castiel wondered,

"Its was good for an angel" Dean shrugged looking out the window again. Castiel chuckled a little but only because he knew he should by Dean's facial expression.

"What made you want to help us anyway?" Dean asked when he relised it was something they'd never discussed.

"I looked into myself and I looked at the other angels and I - I didn't like what I saw. I didn't like what we was doing, what was going to happen, the fact they forced me into things. I remembered you and Sam, and how you guys have been with me. The fact that you ask me to do things rather than tell me. It was nice to have that, plus Lucifer is still the winey brat he always was if he still wants to kill all humanity" Cas answered. It seemed like he had thought long and hard about his answer for days before saying it but he hadn't.

"So, Lucifer needs more time in the time out box?" Dean added with a shrug.

"Yes" Castiel said. "Thank you Dean."  
"For what?"

"Everything, nothing. I don't know" Castiel looked away shyly.

"I should be thanking you. You save me from hell, you saved me from Alister, you rebelled against heaven for me and Sam. You, you've done a lot for us. And we've been questioning your motives, your actions, your trust, your faith. Your - everything, man. So thank you, Cas" Dean corrected the angel and unknowingly placed his hands over the other the angel had folded on the table. "If you are ever lost, need help with anything. No matter where I am, what I'm doing, just ask. That's all you gotta do. Ask. You can ask me, you can ask Sam. You can even ask Bobby."

"Thank you Dean." Castiel's mouth curled into a small smile as he turned his eyes back to the window.


	8. Save you

**Song 8: Simple Plan - Save you...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

**Written in Castiel's point of view. After listening to the song I though it sound fitting...**

I remember when I frist meet Dean. The day I dragged him from hell just a little to late to stop Lilith's plan. He didn't belive he was worth saving, and it took a lot to convince he was important. I remember when I was going to warn him about Micheal and Lucifer and the end of all things and I remember how bad I made him feel when I let the other angels get the best of me and turn me into another one of them. I remember taking on an archangel so he could get to his brother. What are friends for if it's not to help you stop the apocalypse?

Now, as I look Dean, his back turned on me I can still hear his breath, his heart beat, the tears he is trying to hold back. Lucifer broke free and is after Sam, Micheal's after him, more people are dying everyday, people he can't save. I draw in a deep breath. I try to keep myself together, the amount of angels who have also been killed, my brothers and sisters.

"Are you alright?" I ask, I would take a step closer, but if there's anything Dean needs it's space.

"Yeah, I'm alright" Dean lied again and I knew it, but I didn't say anything. I don't even know how to describe how torn up inside I feel when I see Dean like this. Bloody, losing hope, ready to give up and yet still ready to keep on fighting.

"Are you hurt?" I ask again.

"Just a little. The cuts are nothing" Dean said, I knew the cuts were only small but the smallest ones always hurt the most.

"How about you Sam?" I turn to the youngest Winchester who lay on his bed.

"I'm fine, thanks, Cas" he also lies. But again I say nothing. Sam's cuts are only small too but like I've already said the smallest ones are the worst.

Neither of them wanted to be healed and even though I wanted them both to be okay, I wasn't going to heal them if they didn't want to be healed. I wish there was something I could say to make either of them feel better.

"I'll go get some bandages from the car" Sam said sliding of the bed walking slowly and steadily to the door.

"Is there anything I can do, to make you feel better?" I ask Dean who has been standing in the same spot for half an hour now.

"No. I'll be fine, Cas. Just concentrate on thinking of new way to ice the devil" Dean said finally turning to face me.

"Dean, it's okay to tell me if you are hurt" I reassure him, I know he sometimes forgets that it doesn't take any effort for me to heal him.

"I'll be alright" Dean sat on the edge of his bed, straddling the corner.

Sam came back in with the bandages, he must have felt some tension because the next thing he said was,

"sorry for ruining the moment."

I just started at Dean, I guess I was making him uncomfortable but he didn't say anything. The demons we fought today were nothing compared to how bad Lucifer really can do. I could see in Dean's face that he was ready to say yes.

"Dean, you know what will happen if you do that" I said, of corse I wasn't meant to say it out loud but I couldn't help it, it just slipped out.

"Are reading my mind?" he stood up clearly a little angry at me.

"Uh - sorry" I said,

"You were inside my head. The one place I have to myself and that gets taken away from me too" he started walking towards me and I backed away a little.

"I said sorry"

Sam just watched awkwardly.

"You know what I was thinking" Dean had raised voice slightly this time, "but all you say is that I know what will happen if I do that?"

"Uh - Don't do it" I said, rather unsure as to what he wanted me to say, "You fought for so long and so hard so you don't have to do it, one bad day and your ready to turn your self in?"

"Why do you care?" Dean shouted getting right up in my face.

I swolled and backed up again, "Even if it takes forever, I know we will do this. I wish I could save you but I can't do anymore than you can. I won't give up until it's over. Dean, remember when you said that paradise wasn't worth anymore than the amount of families on earth that are happy not being happy. Well you were right. A dangerous freedom is a hundard time better than a peaceful slavery, I see that now."

There was many things I wanted to tell him, such as the way I really felt. I am still knew to human emotions but I am sure that I am feeling something more than friendship and I need his help to figure it out but the last thing he needed right now was me asking for help too.

"I'm not gonna do it! I was just thinking about it. Theres nothing to worry about" Dean turned his back on me again,

"Do what?" Sam finally asked,

"Well tell him. You might as well. Can't keep my thoughts away from you, so why should I try to keep them from him?" Dean flopped onto the bed.

"He was thinking about saying yes" I finally said,

"Saying yes?" Sam started getting angry too.

"I won't do it. I was just thinking about it. I won't do it!" Dean said his face in the pillow.

I took a step towards him and gently touched his shoulder, healing his cuts. I couldn't look at his face like that any longer, after healing Dean I face Sam and heal him too.

"Thanks, Cas" Sam smiled weakly, "I think I'll go get some food. Pie, Dean?"

"Please" Dean lifted his head slightly.

"Dean, if you say yes, Lucifer, wether he's in Sam's body or not will fight you and Micheal will win, bringing paradise and changing the world we've come to love" I explained, "but your body will become mere compost. It will be unresponsive maybe even uninhabitable and I don't want to see that happen to you." I preached on the end of his bed. "Dean, I want to save you."

"I know, but theres nothing you can do. You can't do anymore than I can. I won't say yes if you hate the idea of it that much."

"Thank you" I smiled and watched as Dean layed on his back and faced me.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked.

"Of corse" I nodded,

"I think, my feelings for you are growing"

"You mean beyond friendship?"

"Yeah, exactly"

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while, but I keep backing out. Dean, I think my feelings for you are beyond friendship and I don't understand wh-" I never got finish y sentence because Dean had kissed me before I got the chance. Thats when I finally understood what the feeling was. Love.

_(This story was a huge challenge but I hope it came out alright. I did my best...)_


	9. The game of love

**Song 9: Draft Punk - Game of love...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

**I wrote this one from Castiel's view again. I thought is sound fitting when I listened to it and learned the Lyrics. (This one is set after the episode Dean goes to live with Lisa and Castiel goes back to hell. I guess, you can connect this to the day before the chapter: Lips of an angel.) **

_The game of love is complicated. Dean has always been the only one for me. But after what happened with Sam, after he jumped into Lucifers cage and took Micheal down with him, I mentioned going back to Heaven, Dean thought I wasn't gonna come back. He moved on and I was left to watch over him without being seen by Ben or Lisa. Dean was my first love so it's only fitting that he should be the one to break my heart first. As I stand here, invisible to the human eye watching him sleep, I remember all those nights of just laying next to him. Watching. Listening to him breath. I wanted to move in beside him but, I knew I shouldn't. _

_He needs to know I'll always be here. I'll always be watching over him. It's heart breaking to know that he is with another, but he deserves the normal life. To feel like he isn't in any danger, for once and me, an angel dropping in everyday, that's not normal. I know I should let him know I'm here, but I can't bring myself to disturb him. Not when his peaceful like that. I just knell on the floor in front of his face. I feel his breath wash over my features, it brings back so many memories. Should I sneak into his dreams? Like I used to do? Will he thinks it's the real me, or will he think he's only dreaming? I risk it. If I get to hear his voice, see his smile I'd risk anything. _

_His sitting on a bed in a motel room. Him and Sam. Their cut, bruised. Just like the old days. I make my self known by saying, _

_'How was the hunt?" Dean looked up, I saw him smile and, to know that smile was for me, I couldn't help but cry. _

_"Cas!" He ran to me taking me in his arms, "Is everything okay? Why are you crying?)_

_"You have no idea how much I've missed you" I sobbed bringing my arms up around his waist. _

_"Cas, you visited me last night, remember?" Dean asked kissing my check. Clearly Dean dreams of me even if I don't pop in to dream personally. It's nice to know he missed me. _

_"I remember, I just - I just missed you" I knew I should pull away but, I couldn't. Feeling his arms around me after so long of having to hold myself at night. _

_"I missed you too, Cas" Dean said, he let me go and turned to Sam, "Hey, Sam. Can you give me and Cas some alone time? I need to make him feel better." _

_"Oh, right" Sam said, "I'll just walk the streets all bloody and bruised." I touched Sam's shoulder before he left, to heal him so he didn't go out looking like...that. _

_I'll spare you details of the rest of the dream. As he slept next to me. Yes, Dean falls asleep in his dreams, I left. I returned to reality. I saw him smile. I was doing that. I kissed his lips, whispered, "goodbye. I love you." Into his ear and flew back to heaven. I hated what the angels did to us. Starting the end of the world. If they didn't do that then Lucifer wouldn't have gotten out and me and Dean could still be lovers. Maybe it was Gods fault. If he'd of given earth one last chance, and killed Lucifer then this would have been avoided..._


	10. Open water

**Song 10: Blessthefall - Open water...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

"Crowley, where is he!" Dean shouted, knife in hand ready to slice the demon into a million pieces.

"Who?" Crowley asked innocently.

"Castiel?" Sam asked from behind Crowley, who was tied to a chair inside a devils trap.

"Castiel? Who is that?" Crowley asked. "Oh, you mean the angel? I see. Right well, he is - I'm not going to tell you am I?"

"We'll kill you if you don't" Sam assured him.

"You'll kill me anyway, at least with not telling you I get to take the angel with me" Crowley said.

"What are you talking about?" Dean held the knife too Crowley's throat.

"The angel is running on borrow time, I'm afraid. I suspect his got all of a few hours. If I'm not back by then, I gave my boys the permission to do it without me" Crowley smirked.

"WHERE IS HE!" Crowley was really testing Dean's patients.

"Maybe you should keep a tracking device on him. You seem to lose him a lot" Crowley suggested. He was beaten. Blood dripping down his face. Crowley was inspecting the devil trap he was in.

"His at the warehouse on diamond street" he said noticing the slightly smudged edge from Dean's boot. "You can have him for free, if you can beat me there." Just like that he was gone.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean shouted running out the door Sam bolting after him. "No time to start the car! No time to wait in traffic we have to walk!"

"Walk?!" Sam asked in frustrated amusement.  
"Run" Dean corrected himself.

"Dean you wanna run, down the street holding a knife?"

"His got Cas! Sam, I don't care how bad it looks, I have to save Cas!"

"Ok" Sam nodded following Dean.

Finally they made it. The door wide open, the place trashed, disserted. They stepped inside, the male scream followed by a ringing in there ears and cracking glass gave away Castiel's prescience.

"CAS!" Dean shouted running down the hall and up the stairs, "Cas" he burst into the room. An old enochian spell had him trapped and being tortured by Crowley.

"Dean" Castiel panted. Crowley had Castiel's angel knife and his was making slits in Castiel's body with it.

"Boys" Crowley smiled looking up, "frankly I'm disappointed. "I was expecting you sooner. Didn't take the Impala, did you?"

"You holding Castiel hostage, no time to wait for the car to work, no time to wait in traffic!" Dean explained walking over to him.

"If you were here just a little earlier I would have handed him right over, but since your late, you have to wait. And it'll come at a price."

"You can walk of cliff. I'm taking Castiel back to our motel room and helping him recover" Dean pointed the knife at Crowley's voice.

"Oh really. So you know how to break the spell I used on him do you?" Crowley asked. "Well, if you think you can break it. I'd like to see you try, but I don't wanna hang and get killed, enjoy yourselves, play nicely" Crowley disappeared again after one last stab of that blade into Castiel's side before dragging it back out.

"Cas!" Sam shouted. Dean tried to get to Cas, but there was a force field stopping him. Dean noticed the symbol around the chair Castiel was sitting in, he rubbed his foot against it to break it and ran to Castiel, untying him.

"Dean" Castiel coughed, bringing blood up with him.

"It's ok. Your gonna be ok. Do some of that magic angel healing" Dean said helping Castiel to his feet.

"Dean - It - It's over." Castiel shuddered.

"Don't you dear talk like that. Not to me! Cas you can't die. Facing the world alone is hard enough now, let alone without you. I need you Cas, so don't you dare think about going back upstairs."

"Dean. - I - I" Castiel never finished his words. As Dean watched the life fade from Castiel's eyes he also the wings from Castiel turned to ash on the floor where Dean layed Castiel down...

Dean sat up, he was sweating, Castiel was sitting on the end of his bed, Sam was looking at him from his bed.

"Dean, is everything alright?" Castiel asked looking at him concerned.

"Cas" Dean could feel his eyes fill with tears as he threw himself at Castiel, who relaxed into the embrace.

"It was just a dream, Dean. Everything's ok now." Castiel smiled stroking the back of Dean's hair.

"No. It's not. Cas" Dean pulled away a looked up into Castiel's eyes, "I have to tell you something. My dreams showed me just how fast life goes by, and how important it is to be honest and live. Cas, I've never been good at explaining how I feel but, I - I think I'm in love with you." Castiel smiled at Dean and hugged him tightly,  
"I love you too" he whispered, kissing the top of Dean's head before laying in bed next to him, "go back to sleep now. Everything's okay."

"Cas"

"Yes, Dean."

"If this love turns out to be a dream - don't wake me up"

"It's real Dean. It's very real."

"Good."


	11. Save me

**Song 11: Foreigner - Save me...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

**I wrote this from Dean's point of view, because I thought the Lyrics fit: **

Me and Castiel, we, we used to be lovers. I do still love him and it pains me to have to watch him go through this, I hurts every time I hear about the things he's done on the news. It's not really him. His mind is being controlled by power and the worst part is, it's kinda my fault. If I'd of stayed with him after we stopped the end of the world, and not gone to Lisa like Sam told me too, this would have been okay. Castiel would have let him help. I do miss him, the real him. Everyday I wish I could have him back by my side. Laying in bed next to me, (even though he doesn't sleep.) He liked hearing my heart beat while I slept.

I remember asking him to stop, but it was too late. I should have noticed sooner, I should have noticed there was something wrong when I first saw him. Now there were so many monsters inside him, I couldn't even tell if Castiel was still alive and the monsters hadn't taken over for good. Is he still alive in there? Can he see what his doing? Does even know how far he had gone? I often wonder these things when I lay in bed, cold and alone. Only Sam in the bed over from me. This life, it was hard. I watch my friends die, I watch them get possessed, I watch them kill each other. As I stagger home from the bar I drank at tonight, I trip over the pavement, but before I even get a chance to his the concert, I'm stopped by some arms. Some very familiar arms. I force my self up and look at the one who helped me. At first I don't believe it. I rub my eyes and I pinch myself. It's just a dream. This can't be Castiel. The new Castiel would have let me hit the floor.

"Hello Dean" he says.

I just stared at him, "hello?!"

"Yes"

"Last time we spoke you threatened me and now you say hello!"

"Dean, I came here because I need help and I don't have much time left before the monsters take over, so I need to know if your behind me!"

"What do I have to do?"

"Save me, Dean. Please" Castiel begged. For just a while, Castiel was himself again. The monsters were still in there, deep inside his core. I knew getting them out would be hard. But I knew that I would do anything, to have the old Castiel back again.

"Come on, then" I took his hand. It was still a perfect fit. He wasn't warm anymore. I didn't even remember how we became lovers. It just happened. We never spoke about our feelings or asked the other out, we just sorta feel together and that was that. And I guess that's what made it so easy for us to fall apart. The fact that we never spoke about how we felt. We just bottle them up inside and somehow still except us to work out. We both should have seen this coming.

"Why did you this to yourself Cas?" I asked. I hurt that even after everything, I still cared enough to use his nickname. I remember the first time I called him that. I was telling Sam that if he didn't stop with the demon blood and the powers that he 'Cas' would have to stop him.

"You have no idea what Ralpheal would have done to earth if he was god. Earth, would be the knew hell. He was going to start the apocalypse again. I couldn't have that happen again. It almost killed you last time. I killed me. It dragged Sam down with it. I had to do it, to save you more heartache." Castiel explained. Finally I understood it. I was drunk but I was sober enough you finally understand.

"How am I meant to save you?" I asked opening the door to the motel room.

"Dean" Sam said in the darkness from his bed.

"Yeah, Sammy it's me" I whispered back closing the door. Sam turned the light on,

"Castiel!" He shouted jumping out.

"Sam, it's okay" I said stepping in front of Castiel. "It's Cas, not those monsters. It's really Cas. But he said he doesn't have a lot of time in his body before the monsters push him back down and take over again, so we have to save him. Now!"

"How?" Sam asked. Castiel chuckled, we both turned to him. Thats when I knew, I looked into his eyes but they weren't his eyes anymore. They belonged to the monsters again.

"Cas. I know you can hear me in there" I said.

"Castiel is gone. He's... Dead. Unless you also wanna die, leave us alone. If comes asking for help again. Remember everything his done, him. Even before us. He made a deal with Crowley, he lied to you. He betrayed Crowley just like he betrayed you. Now, it's time to go kill some humans." Just like that, he was gone. Again. For good this time. The worst part is that the next morning, even though I was drunk the night before, I could still remember that I spoke to Castiel last night. I remembered that I was too late to save him... Again. I know it sounds sappy but it made me tear up. I even started crying. "I was too late" I cried when Sam tapped my shoulder.

"Dean, it wasn't your fault" Sam told me. He told me that so often but I always found it so hard to believe. Castiel had came to me for help and I just, I was to late.


	12. Digital love

**Song 12: Draft Punk - Digital love...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

Dean was with Sam and Castiel in a bar. Dean had, had a few drinks and he was a little more than tipsy. Castiel and Sam sat at the table while Dean stood up,

"Come on, Cas" Dean said holding out a hand for Castiel to take, "come on. I wanna see your moves."

"I don't dance, Dean" Castiel sighed in his plain, calm voice.

"I don't believe that!" Dean pulled Castiel up out of his seat, "Sam?"

"No. Enjoy dancing with the angel, I'll order another round and watch from the distance" Sam nodded.

"Ok" Dean shrugged. For a while Castiel just stood there. Then after watching Dean and the other humans dance, he thought he knew what to do. In all fairness he wasn't that bad at '_dancing_'. Dean smiled, "that's it Cas."

Slowly Dean got closer and closer to Castiel. Castiel was confused since Dean had a personal space issue but if Dean wasn't going to obey the rule then why should he? Soon Dean was so close that if he moved any closer they'd be nose to nose.

"What about personal space?" Castiel asked.

"Shut up, Cas" Dean whispered wrapping his arms around the angel's waist while keeping up with the rhythm. Castiel smiled. He knew, (being and angel) that this was wrong, but it made him feel... Right. It wasn't meant to be. He was an angel in love with a human. A male human. Castiel took in a breath and curled his arms around Deans neck.

Sam, who was watching from afar looked at them and smiled. They looked so cute and he remember when he used to have a love like that. Jess then Gabriel. He missed them both dearly and he thought about them both everyday. But he didn't want to think about them now. He didn't wanna start crying or tear up and ruin the happiness his brother was feeling. Dean and Castiel dance for ages. Some other people, who were up there after them had even sat down. They danced in silence. Eyes locked on the others. Heads together. Then Dean made that one little move, and kissed Castiel. It felt real, and to Dean it was until he heard Sam's voice in his ear,

"Dean, wake up. Cas is here!"

Dean jolted awake.

"Sam" he said sitting up. "Cas" he whipped his mouth with the back of his hand. _'Shit'_, he thought, _'I can't believe it. I had a gay dream about Castiel. Me and Castiel. Dancing. Happy, Kissing. It felt nice but ... No. I couldn't. But I did!' _Dean knew he should talk to Castiel about it after all, if he was having these...feelings then, maybe Castiel was too. It wasn't the first time he had dreams about Castiel. The first one where they danced and the first one when all that happened was a light kiss. But it still wasn't his first dream about him and Castiel.

"Dean" Castiel said stepping closer. "Are you alright? You seem - distracted."

"No. Cas, I'm fine" Dean shock his head, "we need to talk." He looked at Sam, "alone." _*Wink, Wink* _

"Oh. Sorry, I'll just go" Sam smiled at his bother and walked out with the keys to the Impala.

"Was is it Dean? Are you hurt? I can heal you!" Castiel sat down on the bed next to him. Invading his space. (Thats Dean knew it was real this time. Castiel not respecting his personal space. Only in a dream would Castiel understand that some people like breathing room.)

"No, Cas. I'm fine" Dean chuckled a little.

"Then why ask to speak alone?"


	13. Something about us

**Song 13: Draft Punk - Something about us...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

It was just Dean and Castiel now. Sam had agreed to letting them have some alone time since it had been clear the past few days that there were somethings they needed to talk about. Neither Dean nor Cas made eye contact. They just, looked at the floor, then the ceiling. Dean was straddling the corner of his bed and Castiel was standing in the corner opposite him on the other side of the room. Castiel went to talk, then stopped himself. Dean went to speak but he stopped himself too. Blood rushing to their checks. Both getting a little flustered. Some much needing to be said but not enough words to say it in.

"Cas" Dean began. Silence feel again. How could Dean say it. _'This is wrong. I mean, it's Castiel. His an angel. Loving him isn't just wrong it's insane. There's no way he'd love me back. Angels don't have emotions do they?'_

"Dean" Castiel began. He stopped to. Silence feel again. _'Just say it. If he doesn't feel the same you can just pop out. You can still see him and just not make yourself visible. After everything you guys have been through together, you think it's impossible for him to feel the same? Don't be a coward. Your meant to be the emotionless one, remember?'_

The silence was painful.

"Dean" Castiel said, this time determined to finish his sentence, "I want to tell you something." He shuffled a little closer.

"I need to talk to you too, Cas. You go first" Dean said, not sure if he should back up as Castiel got closer to step forward too.

"I know that there's a lot going on. Micheal's coming after you. Lucifer is coming after Sam. The end of the world is upon us and all that" Castiel began, "I might not be the one that is around forever. I'm to this whole - maybe you should go first."

"Good idea" Dean agreed, he had never explained his feelings before but, he knew how he felt. It couldn't be that hard, just say what you feel. Piece of cake...or pie. "Well, I might not be the right one and this is so not the best time but, there is something about...You...Me...Ah- us. I know I'm always saying, I need you. You can't leave and all that jazz. Well Cas, that's because - It's because I - I. Dammit!" Dean was trying to say it and he knew he should because he knew it was real but it was harder than he thought.

"There is something about us, Dean" Castiel to the rescue. "Something, I'm not sure how to explain. I want you, Dean. I need you. I miss you every time I'm gone. Every time your gone. Dean, I am knew to human emotions and I'm not sure if I got the name of the feeling right, correct me if I'm wrong. I love you, Dean."

"You got it right" Dean smiled getting up to meet Castiel halfway across the floor. "I love you too." Dean brushed Castiel's hair behind his ear and leaned in for a kiss. A nice, smooth, loving peck turned out a little more heated than expected but neither man choose to pull back. "Wow" Dean said coming up for ear, "where did that come from?"

"You said we weren't allowed to talk about it" Castiel got all shy and embarrassed for a second.

"God, I love that pizza man!" Dean smirked leaning back in, hungry for more. So long containing these feelings that letting them out, it felt good. No matter how wrong he thought it was at first, that could never measure up to how right it felt now.


	14. A-team

**Song 14: Ed Sheeren - A-team...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. You have no idea how hard this song was.) _

Castiel hasn't been the same since he found out that God had given up on humanity. He was drinking with Dean and Sam, which is something he never used to do. But he would drink more than they would and because he didn't sleep, sobering him up took forever. Dean had noticed, Sam always said "He found out his dad doesn't care anymore, it might take a while." But it had been weeks. Since then. Dean could see his face changing. He didn't look different but it was obvious that he'd changed. All he did was daydream and drink. One night Dean approached the angel,

"Hey, Cas"

"Leave me be Dean."

"Don't you think you should lay off the drink?"

"Why? There's reason not to drink?"

"It's not good for you"

"It's not good for you either. At least I can heal myself!" Cas said finally looking up. That had been the first time him and Dean had made eye contact since he began drinking.

In his eye his pain was clear and his sorrow was spilling out of every pore.

"If there's something I know" Dean said sitting next to Castiel. "It's a deadbeat Dad. He's not worth it Castiel."

"You drank more than once for your father did you not?"

"Yes, but, I thought you were more mature than I was" Dean looked at Castiel. Sam's head shot up, did Dean really just say that? How many time has he called Castiel a baby and now suddenly his mature?

"Well, you were wrong" Castiel took another sip.

"Will you come for a walk with me Cas?" Dean asked holding a hand out.

"It's cold outside!"

What you have to understand is that Castiel when his drunk becomes sarcastic and 'handsy'. And when your drunk, who you are doesn't change, you just become fearless enough to show it. His eyes weary, his throat dry, Castiel flapped his arms around Dean's shoulders, taking them both Dean and Sam by surprise. Usually it took Castiel a lot more than how much he'd had to get to this stage.

"It's okay Cas" Dean said relaxing and stroking Castiel's hair. Although he hated seeing Cas like this it was nice to take care of him for a while, to make up for all the times Castiel had looked after him.

"No, it's not. It was our last chance"

"Cas, it's okay we'll find another way" Dean smiled but he soon whipped the smiled of his face as Castiel slid a hand up his shirt. "Cas, this is not the time or the place and you - " he could finish that sentence. Castiel was his type, but if Castiel was only a handsy drunk and would never do this with Dean sober then whats the point?

"Castiel, calm down" Dean said pushing Castiel away.

Sam was just watching, for some reason although he wasn't so keen on the idea of watching a angel flirt with his brother for some reason he couldn't not watch.

"Dean-" Castiel said.  
"No" Dean walked away. If he was gonna do anything romantic with Cas then Cas was gonna be stone cold sober when it happened. Not drinking, not day dreaming. SOBER. "If you want me that bad, stop drinking! Get better and kiss me when your stone cold sober!" Dean shouted flopping onto his bed. Of corse he wanted Cas. He had for a long time but, with Castiel in the state his in, it would be mean to take advantage of him.

"Okay" Castiel said getting up, "I'm sober now" trying to walk and falling over.

"Yeah, I can see that!" Dean chuckled helping him up and carrying him to the sofa. "Stay there until the morning." Dean kissed Castiel's check as he layed him down.

"What if I get lonely?" Castiel asked, his hands roaming Dean's body again.

"Then, come wake me up" Dean sighed pulling the hand from his belt buckle and walking to his bed again.

It was a few days later and the boys were on a hunt. Castiel had come along too. He was sober now and Dean was keeping a close eye on him, he made a point of not buying any booze and keeping Castiel away from them at all costs. This case went deeper than they had originally expected, Crowley was behind it. Castiel had tracked him down and followed him,

"Uh - Castiel" Crowley smiled. "How nice it is to see you." Without warning Crowley had stabbed Castiel through the lower stomach and disappeared. Castiel used the last of his power to find Dean and Sam. They were waiting just outside.

"Call the ambulance!" Dean shouted.

"It won't do any good" Sam reminded him as they ran to the angels side.

"Dean - I - I" Castiel began.

"Shh. Don't talk. Just get better" Dean said tears forming in his eyes as he stroked the angels face.

"I'm sorry, I - I - did - didn't - d - do this - soo - sooner" Castiel sat up a little, he was finally crying. The angel had learned to cry and he placed his lips over the older hunters gently.

It was Deans best but saddest goodbye kiss ever. The amount of love wrapped up in it was breath taking but the fact that Castiel was leaving was the worst pain in the world. As he pulled away he watched as all the light in Castiel's eyes Faded away. Slowly Dean closed the angels eyes and layed him on the ground with his wings. He never got to say the words he was so longing to say,

"I love you" he cried kissing Castiel's forehead and whipping his tear drops from the angels head. Castiel was gone. His angel, his love, dead. No coming back, no way out. It's over this time. For good. But that day he swore his vengeance to Crowley. And in 2014 he killed Crowley and followed threw his deal. Said yes to Micheal and him and Lucifer did the grand finally, Lucifer went back to his cage, the angels that were left alive went to heaven and Dean, he eventfully killed himself because dealing with the lose of his brother and his angel was the worst feeling in the world and it over too his suruvial instinct.

**Sorry for all the feels. **


	15. Someone like you

**Song 15: Adele - Someone like you...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. You have no idea how hard this song was.) _

**I relised I wrote a lot of songs based on Dean missing Castiel. So I though I'd reverse the roles. **

He walked up to the blue door and knocked twice. Patiently he waited for the door to open. Not sure who was going to open it. What was going to be said. There were voices, and slowly the door opened. It was that man...again. Green eyes, brownish gingerish hair. His eyes just as surprised as they always were. A face full of water as always. A cut on the arm with a silver knife. Everything happened the way it always did but he had never been to the house before.

"It's really you?" the man said a smile forming on his perfect lips.

"Yes" he said, "Dean, it's me."

"Oh my god" Dean laughed and threw his arms around him. Kissing the other man like they hadn't seen each other in months. "Come in. We've missed you." Dean led him inside, "Sam, Bobby. Look who's back."

"Cas" Said the tallest man.

"Sam. Bobby."

"It's to see ya son" Bobby beamed.

"I can't stay" he said, disappointed.

"We know that. We are just glad to see you. I've missed you so much" Dean said coming up from behind him and snaking his arms around the mans waist.

"I missed you too, but eventually, my time will be up. I will leave again. Will you wait for me?"

"Always" Dean whispered in his ear. Shivers ran down his spin.

"You know I love you"

"I love too" Dean sighed now facing him.

"You guys need some time?" Sam pipped up.

"Please" Dean stepped back from the man to show Bobby and Sam out the house. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Us. You see, I can't handle you being away for so long and then coming back and then leaving. I need someone who's always there, or never there at all" Dean explained leaning against the table.

"I don't understand"

"I think we should move on"

"You do?"

"I need you all the time or not at all. Theres no way you can stay forever but it's pretty clear to me now that it's easy for you to stay away" Dean turned his back toward the other man.

"I'm sorry"

"Never mind, I'll find someone else like you" Dean was upset by the idea of loving anyone else but he new he couldn't carry on this way.

"I just want you to know that for me, it's not over."

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead" Dean explained.

"That doesn't make any easier to deal with. I'll leave now. Say goodbye to Sam and Bobby for me."

"Can't I say goodbye properly?" Dean turned to him again and started walking over.

"I'd rather you didn't. It would make saying goodbye harder" there was a sorrow in the green eyes that belonged to Dean. It made his heart break.

"You think I don't know that. I want to do this, one last time" Dean whispered his lips ghosting the smaller mans. Finally leading to a kiss.

"One last time. I know afterwards we'd both see each other again, not wanting it to be the last time"

"We can cross that bridge when we come to it" Dean said leaning for another kiss.

Emmanuel never got to see the end of that. His wife had woken him up before he got to see wether or not they were gonna see each other again. Who was this Dean? Who was this Sam? This Bobby? The Cas they speak of in his dreams of them? He knew 2 things:

Dean and him were lovers in the night. He had an ache in his heart when he thought about Dean. Was he even real? Alive? Did he know who he was? Was he magical too? Emmanuel was sure he had feelings for Dean but if he didn't know a Dean, not really. Only the land of dreams. In his waking hours he had a wife. He loved her. Dean was a mystery and maybe that's why he was in love with him. You always want you can't have.

There was no one like him. No one at all. Just him. Dean wanted to move on? Well Emmanuel was sure his and Dean's love story wasn't over yet.

"Is everything okay?" his wife asked.

"I'm fine. Just another dream. Another tragically good dream" he answered her. It was right to be wife his wife knowing he was interested in other people. Other men, but why break something like a marriage of the other relationship is better off without you.

**Sorry If I confused you. I also want to thank everyone for the suggestions.  
**


	16. True love

**Song 16: Pink - True love...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

Dean was nervous. He loved Cas, no doubt about that. But they were going through a rough patch and Dean wanted to make sure Castiel wasn't going anywhere. It was date night so even though they were having difficulties they were going out to a restaurant and carry on with the date like everything was fine. The reason for this was because they hated arguing. They both went to sleep with sick feelings in their stomachs. And going to a public place stopped an argument breaking out. But Dean had an Idea that would stop the arguing. He loved Castiel but at the same time he hated him. Sometime he would want to hug him and strangle him at the same time.

Sure enough Castiel felt the same way about Dean. But, Dean was the only love Castiel had ever known and nothing will tare them apart no matter how many time they argue or fight, or wanna slap each other, beat each other to death. They could never do it because it really was true love. Dean was his first love so it's only natural that Dean would be the first one to break his heart but a little heart break was worth the pain because the feeling Castiel got when he was with Dean, it was breath taking. Castiel flew into the motel room,

"are you ready Dean?" he asked standing there in his trench coat.

"Cas you should use the door more often" Dean yelled in surprised shoving something in his pocket. Castiel was curious but didn't want to have another fight so he ignored the remark and asked again, "are you ready to go, Dean?"

"Yeah, you?" Dean stood up wallet in hand.

"Well, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't ready" Cas said following Dean out to the car.

"See you when I get back Sam" Dean waved.

"Enjoy" Sam smiled, "good luck."

"Yeah" Dean shut the door.

The car ride was silent and awkward. No one spoke, afraid of an argument starting. Radio on, faces towards the window. Legs crossed, hands by sides, faces straight.

"Table for two, under the name Dean Winchester" Dean said at the door.

"Right this way please" the waiter said picking up two menu's and walking through the tables like a maze. Dean took Castiel's hand so they could appear to be a happy couple and they were, Dean would never want anyone else.

"Can I get some drinks?" The man asked.

"Two beers" Dean said looking at Cas for a sign of disapproval.

"Certainly" the man walked away after writing the order down.

Dean was waiting for the right moment. The right time. The right mood. "What are you gonna have tonight, angel?" Dean asked Castiel.

"I am not sure, what about you?" Castiel looked up from the menu and into Dean's eyes,

"I don't know that's why I asked you. I might have the bacon burger, not sure though" Dean pondered.

"You can have it if you want"

"Funnily enough I wasn't waiting on your permission" Dean looked back at the menu.

Castiel sighed, he wasn't gonna start an argument here, not now. He was tired of the arguing, the fighting. He just want to try and enjoy a nice meal with his lover.

"Two beers" the waiter said placing down two bottles, "ready to order?"

"I'll have the bacon burger" Dean looked at the waiter, who looked at Castiel,

"I'll have the chicken pasta salad, please" Castiel closed the menu.

"Of corse" the man took the menu's and walked away again.

They were half way through their meals when Castiel sighed and said,

"Dean, I'm sorry. For everything."

"I'm sorry too. We were both acting like children" Dean smiled, this was a better time than any, "Castiel, Sometimes I wonder how we ever came to be  
But without you I'm incomplete. I'm glad I met you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you" Dean walked over and stood in front of the angel, he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring, "Castiel will you marry me?"

Castiel felt like was gonna cry.

"Well" an old lady spoke up from the next table over, "say yes and kiss already."

"Of corse I will" Castiel dropped to his knees and held the hunter in his arms. "I love you Dean."

"I love you to Cas" Dean kissed his fiance's lips. Everyone clapped and cheered.

When they got back to the motel there was a note on the table,

"Congratulations, guys. I just went to get some groceries. Be back soon - Sam."

Dean chuckled and took the tie of the angel, he hung it on the door handle outside the room so Sam would know what was going on inside and leave without disturbing them.


	17. Until the day I die

**Song 17: Story Of The Year - Until the day I die...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

"Cas, what the hell happened back there?" Dean shouted, slamming his hand into the wall.

"I think you two need some space" Sam said heading out the door again.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine" Castiel shouted back.

"You could have died!"

"But I didn't!"

"Thats not the point. Cas, you were being stupid. I told you it was to dangerous, I told you not to do it and you done it anyway! You disobeyed me Cas, and you almost died" Dean turned his back on his angel, is he didn't love him so much he would strangled him.

"Why are you so angry? We did it, thanks to my sacrifice! Without that the demons would still be running free" Castiel sat up on the bed.

"Lay down. I told you not to move didn't I. You need to rest" Dean braced his hands on the wall in front of him. "You never listen to me!"

"I always listen to you, Dean" Castiel said softly. "Always. I knew no one would make it out alive if I didn't do something."

"I'd rather die in there with you than live without you" Dean hung his head in despair.

"Dean" Cas whispered, his voice chilled the oldest hunter whole body.

"You a frickin' child, you know that?" Dean hit the wall again.

"Dean"

"Just shut up and listen to me. For once! Please" Dean turned to his lover again and lent against the wall, "you always make the same mistakes. You put your life on the line to save my ass or someone else ass and you forget that people will miss you. You expect them to be ok with you risking your life to save them. You act they would live with the idea that you died for them!"

"Dean, I love you and you know that but sometimes you can so hypocoristical!" Castiel was keeping his self up on his elbows, "everything I do when I hunt, I got from you. The risking my life to save people that I don't even know. The risking my life by going after demons alone! I got all of that from you and you truly are the bravest man I have ever known."

"Don't give none of that bullshit!" Dean walked over to Castiel an straddled him, "you know I would die without you."

"I know" Castiel finally laid down like Dean had asked. "Theres one thing I wanna take to the grave with me"

"What is that?"

"The knowledge that I got there before you did. Someone has to be there to show you the way when your time comes. Might as well be a lover."

"I don't want you to talk like that to me" Dean said sliding to lay next to Castiel, "you understand me?" Castiel nodded,

"I understand" he kissed the top of Deans head, "I'm sorry."

"Thank you" Dean said, hands slipping lower down Castiel's body."I'll always be with you"

"Until the day I die?" Dean asked,

"I promise." Castiel kissed his boyfriends lips, what was meant to be a light peck, turned into a long night and not a lot of sleep.

**This song was quite tricky for me. There was many directions I could have taken it and many ways the lyrics can be interrupted. I hope I done it right. **


	18. Just one more yesterday

**Song 18: Fall Out Boy - Just one more yesterday...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. It was really hard to piece everything together. I hope it turned out alright, Enjoy.) _

Crowley had Castiel tied to a table. Held down by some kind of symbol.

"They won't come looking for me" Castiel said, breathlessly.

"Stop talking, or I'll chock you with your own halo" Crowley sighed. Castiel wasn't sure what was going on, he was feeling something. He didn't know to describe it. He was sweating, shaking. He wanted to run but he knew even he tried he couldn't. It was something he believe the Winchesters called...what was the word?... Fear. Crowley had a pair of pliers and he was moving closer and closer towards Castiel's mouth.

"Open wide" Crowley said, "come on now. The sooner this is over, the less time it will hurt for. You're an angel surely you can grow them back. Just tell me what I want to know and you can go free" he said.

"They won't come looking for me and I won't tell you where to fine them" Castiel spat. But his mouth was now open and Crowley had placed the pliers over one of Castiel's teeth and pulled.

Castiel screamed.

"You know, how I know they will look for you?" Crowley asked putting the pliers down to look for something new to use. "Because I know what you and Dean do in the dark." Castiel looked at him, "that's right angel. I know what the hunter does to you, and I know what he does to you. And I know Sam doesn't know yet. I know he will come looking for you. He'll miss feeling you next to him."

"I don't know what you're talking about" Castiel winced and Crowley dragged an angel blade down the side of his leg.

"Just say it, I already know" Crowley sighed, dragging the blade back up.

"Ok, fine. I love him" Castiel shouted. "I love him."

"Love who?"

"Dean"  
"Dean?"

"Dean Winchester. I love Dean Winchester. There I said it!"

"Good boy" Castiel put the angel sword down and skimmed over his other tools.

Meanwhile with Dean and Sam,

"Dean, traffic lights are important to not having a crash" Sam shouted as his brother speed past a red light.

"I don't car. Son of a bitch stole Cas" Dean said sternly. His eyes were filled with anger, worry and sadness.

"I know, but if we crash, it will take up more time" Sam explained.

"You wanna walk there?"

"No"

"Then shut up!" Dean shouted.

"What's been up with you two lately?" Sam asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"You seem to spend more time together. You take him out to interviews, you take him to the library. I go to the library and leave you guys alone here more often now and it's always awkward when I get back"

"I take him to interview and the library because he said he wanted to be a hunter, we're working on his - people skills and his knowledge. Things are awkward when you get back because - you just have that effect" Dean said, checking his watch quickly he speed up.

"You're lying to me aren't you? Are you an Cas, together?" Sam asked.

"Well, no. Not - not really. It's complicated" Dean sighed.

"So it's just sex?"

"He wanted to learn about human love. When I started explained what couples do he had questions about certain things and I wanted to get them clear up" Dean said.

"So you wanted to have sex with him?"

"Sam - I already said I wanted him to under -"

"No. You love him but your too afraid to say it because the second you say it, it becomes real" Sam was seeing right through what his brother was saying, "your trying to deny how you feel to yourself. Because your whole life, you've liked girls. You've wanted to be with them. You like sleeping with them and so on - suddenly this blue eyed angel comes along and it's all confusing. You don't want to admit who you really are, because your afraid of what others think!"

"Fine I love him, Sam? Are you happy now?!" Dean shouted pulling over outside where Crowley had made his base for this week. He got out the car as fast as he could and ran inside. He could hear Castiel screaming and not in the good way.

"If I could rewind to yesterday I would" Dean said to Sam, "I would take it back yesterday and I would tell him how I felt. I would tell him I loved him and I would without a doubt, not let him leave. I would do anything to get him to stay. I'd even sell my soul!"

"Dean" Sam gasped.

"Don't sound so shocked. Selling your soul for the ones you love is the Winchester way, remember. Now shut up, he'll hear us." Dean followed the sound of Castiel's voice, his water pistol full of holy water. Suddenly he burst into the room and started spraying it everywhere.

"I offered to let him go you know" Crowley said removing the weapons with his demonic powers, or his witch powers, it was hard for him to tell which ones he was using sometimes.

"Cas" Dean shouted, he tried running to the angel but Crowley got in the way,

"Uh-uh-uh. Not until you tell me what I need to know" Crowley tutted, "I asked him where to find you and he could go. But he wouldn't tell me. So where were you?"

"We were at the library" Dean muttered, "Cas are you okay?"

"Dean I'm fine. Go. Now. Please"Castiel shouted.

"Not without you I'm not!" Dean shouted back, "now let him go"

"I'm afraid I can't. I needed you, he wouldn't tell me. I can only let him go if he tells me" Crowley shrugged.

"What did you want?" Sam asked.

"I just wanted you to be here while I killed, the angel, because as soon as I'm done with him. I'm moving on to you!" Crowley smirked a little.

Castiel inspected the trap he was in, looking for something to be out of place so he could escape and save them. Castiel looked at the water pistol Dean had brough in. He looked at Crowley as he walked over to him.

"Any last words?" Crowley asked him.

"I love you Dean" Castiel said closing his eyes.

Dean looked at the angel a hand behind his back. "I love you too, Cas." Dean took the demon knife from behind his back and threw in Crowley's direction. Missing his back but hitting him the leg, drawing attention to himself. Crowley turned around and started towards Dean instead.

Castiel made the water pistol spray, clearing a little of the symbol, enough for him to get out.

"Go back to hell Crowley" he shouted, his hand on Crowley's head. Suddenly Crowley disappeared. "Thank you for coming for me."

"I wasn't going to let you die" Dean smiled.

"Do you think we can go back to yesterday and be honest with each other?"

"Of corse we can. Come on. Lets get outta her" Dean offered his hand to Castiel, who took it with no hesitation at all. Dean even got a kiss on the check for his braveness. And as a reward Castiel got to ride shotgun.


	19. Angel with a shotgun

**Song 19: The Cab - Angel with a shotgun...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

It was official. The angels even knew. Dean and Castiel were in love. And they were getting married. But the other angels had made it clear. There was going to be a war first.

"Dean. I just don't want you getting hurt" Castiel said, "I'd rather you sit this fight out. If they hurt you, I would never forgive myself."

"So you can fight for us but I can't. I want this love to work just as much as you do and we will fight together or not at all" Dean took his lovers hand as he threw him a look of confusion. "I'm not saying I don't love and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you, because I do and you know that. But we don't need a piece of paper to say that. We don't need rings to remind us because already know. Are you sure we should risk our lives for it, because we shouldn't care what they think."

"Dean. It's not the marriage that has them worked up. It's the feeling causing us to get married. Angel aren't mean to have emotions and we shouldn't have any for humans. Dean, I am willing to die for our love, no matter what. Are you?" Castiel placed his hands over Deans.

"Of corse" Dean nodded.

And so when it was time. Dean and Castiel prepared themselves. Bobby, Sam, Balthazar and Gabriel all ready to defended the love between angel and human. Standing with their weapons out and ready to use. Circles of holy oil placed all around, ready for the angels to light any second.

"I love you Castiel" Dean said holding Castiel's hand,

"I love you too, Dean" Castiel replied kissing Dean's check.

"Their coming!" Gabriel shouted, readying himself.

"Get ready!" Bobby shouted. Angels came down from everywhere. Admittedly, Sam, Dean and Bobby made a point of angel proofing the room the night before once the angels on their side where in the house. So they did cheat a little. It gave them a little time to get their heads straight. Because Dean and Castiel couldn't seem to focus on it properly. It gave them time to get everything together. Bobby was going over a spell, he found in an old book he almost forgot he had, about a spell in which it will send certain angels away. But you need their blood to do it. So he was gonna wait for some to be trapped in holy fire and take their blood to create more battle room. A line of holy water had been drawn and ready lite to protect Bobby from the angels while he worked.

I didn't take as long as they hoped it would for the angels to find a way round it. They smashed the windows with those stupid powers 'God' had given them. Allowing them a way in. The fight was brutal and Bobby was having a hard time darting through everyone just to collect blood from the traped angels. Dean and Castiel were finding it hard now too. Sam, Balthazar, Gabriel and even Bobby were bruised, cut, scratched. They felt selfish. They shouldn't have dragged them into this, but they were grateful that those guys had agreed to help. There was no warning for Dean when an angel stabbed him in the chest. Castiel was taken by surprise and once he realized what had happened, he gave up. He just threw everything down and gave in. He couldn't take it anymore. More people would get hurt and he already lost the love of his life.

"They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well baby, you are all that I adore, if love is what you need, a soldier I will be. I love you, Dean" Castiel sobbed, kissing the hunter one last time before allowing himself to be killed as well.

"Well" Zachariah sighed, "we did what we was here to do. Time to go home." And the angels just flew away. Leaving the two bodies there. Castiel's body spread out over Dean's like he was hugging him.

"I'm sorry" Gabriel said patting Sam's shoulder, "you want alone time?"

"No. He was just important to me as he was other people. Besides, you brothers here too. I have no right to keep for him after this" Sam placed a hand over Gabriels.

A few years later, Sam had given up hunting. He moved in with a girl called Sarah. And had two baby boys. One 3 the other one a new born. Do you know what he called them?

Dean and Castiel. Yeah, life was good when you step back and understand what it's all about. Living it how you want. And Sam did have everything he wanted. A family and safety.

**(If there were any unwanted feels, I'm sorry.) **


	20. Everything I do, I do it for you

**Song 20: Bryan Adams - Everything I do, I do it for you...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

Dean and Castiel were just standing there. Staring at each other. It was starting to freak Sam out. How long had it been? At least 5 minutes. Didn't their legs ache. Bobby seemed ok with it. He was just sitting behind his desk reading. Sure Dean and Castiel did stare at each other a lot but this stare it seemed different. Maybe it's what Cas said. Maybe is sent Dean into shock and Castiel was staring at him trying to figure out what was wrong with him or something.

_'Everything I do, I do for you. For you Dean'_ he remembered hearing Cas say. Neither of them had moved since. Were they even gonna blink? Seriously, he could Dean's eyes watering. Or he was crying, but Dean wouldn't cry over something like that...Would he?

Sam was trying to get their attention but neither of them would tear their faces from the other. It was really intense but in a knew way.

"Will someone say something?" Sam asked he was almost begging, it was way to silent in there. Like the hole work just went silent for those 5 minutes. Still it was silent. Sam thought maybe if I stop paying attention they'll stop, he thought. Nope. Still they started and started and stared. Sam got up again and stood facing them.

"Do something!" He shouted. Dean's eyes were no watering really bad, or he was just crying. But Dean wouldn't cry over Cas's words... Would he?

Dean must have been crying. Sam figured this when Castiel put a hand on his check to wipe the tear away.

"For you Dean." Castiel repeated.

"I know" Dean said finally closing his eyes and placing a hand over Castiel's. After what seemed like another 5 minutes, Dean moved. The movement took Sam and Bobby who now looked up from his book. Dean was kissing Castiel and Castiel was...Enjoying it. By the looks of it Dean was too... What was going on? Total mind fuck moment. Dean pulled away from Cas and looked at him.

"I know" he said again.

"Are all just gonna repeat ourselves?" Sam asked turning to Bobby.

"What?" Bobby asked.

"Are we all just gonna repeat ourselves?"

"What?" Bobby said again.

"See, do we have to kiss now too?" Sam looked back Dean and Cas who staring at each other again. Closer than last time but still.

"Idjits" Bobby said rolling his eyes.

"Cas, I'm sorry" Dean said, everyone looked at him again.

"For what?" Castiel asked softly, hand slipping his hand down her back.

"Everything. All the times, I never spoke to you. All the times, I argued with you without giving you a chance to explain your side of the story" Dean sobbed into Castiel's shoulder. Bobby and Sam started at each other.

"I'm sorry too. For everything" Castiel smiled weakly. If angels could cry he was sure that's what he would be doing right now.

"It's all for you Dean"

"It's for too Cas"


	21. Call to arms

**Song 21: Angel And Airways - Call to arms...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. This song was a nightmare, but I hope it turned out okay. Let me know. Thanks for all the help you guys have given me so far. I love you all.) _

Dean dug like he never dug before. He called for Sam so hurry and get his ass back here so he can help, so many times his voice was horse and his throat was sore. He dug until his arms were sore and even then he dug still. Castiel had been buried alive under there. Damn Ralpheal! Why he so mean and full of himself.

"Cas!" He shouted, as the hole got deeper and deeper. "Sam, hurry your ass up you son of a bitch! Cas!" This was not a good day. He just hoped Castiel was still alive down there. "Oh my god, Cas" he breathed finally seeing Castiel's hair poking up out the ground. He threw the shovel down and started using his hands. Castiel's face was a mess, bleeding, dirty. He pulled Castiel out from the shoulders. And held him in his lap. "Breath. Cas breath." Dean begged, tears running from his face on to Cas's checks.

"Dean, I'm here. Sorry, I was surrounded - what the hell happened?" Sam shouted running back over and seeing Dean with Cas in his lap."

"You let this happen" Castiel whispered. "You let me get hurt" he was barely even talking, he was so short of breath.

"Cas, I'm sorry. Just get better. Please" Dean said helping him sit up a little more his head resting on Dean's shoulder.

"I won't be getting better this time" Castiel replied, "and it's your fault. You should have dug faster!" With that Castiel just faded away.

"I'm sorry" Dean cried holding him as tightly as he could manage, then he pulled back and kissed the angels lips gently. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly he woke up. He was sweating and gripping at the side of the bed. He was to busy trying to catch his breath he didn't notice the angel laying next to him, until he spoke.

"Dean" Cas said.

"Cas?" Dean turned, meeting his blue eyes. Losing his grip on the bed to tighten a grip on Castiel.

"Unpleasant dream?"

"You can call it that" Dean said pulling back to kiss Cas's lips. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For letting you die."

"Dean, it killed the Lavianthens too. You did the right thing. I also deserved it. You know that" Castiel said stroking his check as he pulled back.

"It was my fault"

"No it was my fault"

"Cas."

"No Dean. I did that to my self even when you warned me it was a bad idea. I didn't listen. It was my fault. You have no blame for it, at all!"

"In my dream, you blamed me" Dean held the angel tight again.

"It was a dream Dean" Castiel said, "I don't blame you for anything. You just need to remember that. Sleep. I'll keep nightmares away. I promise."  
"Love you Cas."

"Love you too Dean."


	22. Iris

**Song 22: Goo Goo Dolls - Iris...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

Castiel always worried about Dean. Always. And he watched Dean at time Dean didn't even know he was there. Even while he was in civil war in heaven. He would pop in from time to time. Never knowing when he might last see Dean, never knowing if an angel would kill him, he had to see Dean when ever he could. Dean could feel someone watching him but when he turned, there was no one there. Castiel would show himself but he didn't want to show himself and have them filled with false hope that he'll be fine because he wasn't sure he would be. After all everything was made to be broken. Sometimes he'd pop-in to Dean's dreams but Dean thought they were Dreams, not real. So Cas would get away with it. Dean would pray, Castiel would go and still not be seen. He would help when could without anyone knowing it was him.

He couldn't help but worry about Dean. After all, he was worried about Sam, curoise as to why he was acting so weird. Not knowing what was happening, so busy looking after him that he forgot to look after himself, it's hard not to worry about people like that.

Castiel was watching Dean and Sam eat at some restraunt, somewhere. He knew Dean could feel him staring because it wasn't long before Dean turned around and he was looking right at Castiel he just didn't know he was because Cas was in invisible mode at the time. It was night time that very same day. And Castiel was laying in bed next to Dean. Yet again Dean didn't know it. He was sleeping, Castiel couldn't help it. He was visible now, knowing the Winchesters were sleeping peacefully. Unaware of his presence. He lent over Dean and kissed his lips gently. Dean awoke, feeling something. All he saw was Castiel, he turned the light and Cas was 'gone.' Dean felt his lips with his hand. Must have been part of the dream. But damn did it feel real...and nice. Different and weird but nice. Soft. For a dream of corse. Castiel sighed as he watched Dean fade back to sleep. Castiel waited until he was sure of Deans sleep before hugging him from behind.

The next morning, Dean looked behind him. He could feel Castiel's breath he could feel his arms. His lips still tingling from the kiss.

"Cas" he whispered, "are you here?" Castiel kissed Dean' neck. "Show yourself to me. Please."

"Dean" Sam mounded from the other bed, "you alright."

"I will be when you come back with breakfast" Dean replied, still feeling Castiel around him.

"What do you want?" Sam asked, knowing that saying no won't get anywhere.

"I don't care. You know what I like. Go get" Dean shooed him with a hand. And turned, he knew Cas was there behind him, he turned and if he could see him, he'd be looking into his eyes. Sam just went when he was dressed.

"Cas, please. Let me see you" Dean asked. Castiel was so damaged from the war. Face cut and bruised. He didn't want to shock Dean with his looks. But with Dean begging like that, almost in tears, he had too comply.

The next thing Dean knew, he was looking into Cas's blue eyes.

"Cas" he smiled, pulling the angel in so close their lips felt like they were super-glued to each other.

"Dean" Castiel said when Dean finally came up for air. Dean saw his face, "what the hell?"

"A civil war between angels is messy. I'll heal" Castiel sighed. Dean traced the bruised and cuts with his finger. He can't heal the way Castiel did but he wished so damn hard that he could, just at that moment.

"You look awful" Dean sighed, a hand on Castiel's chest. Feeling his heart beat.

"I know" Castiel had a hand in Dean's hair, twisting it between his fingers. Smiling.

"I miss you, Cas" Dean said their foreheads together.

"I miss you too" Castiel smiled at his hunter. Everything in that moment was perfect. Everything was made to be broken but Castiel wasn't going to let that moment shatter.


	23. Be mine

**Song 23: The Heavy - Be mine.**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. After reading the lyrics I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack. The song was perfect and I wasn't sure I'd do it. But I tried. I hope I dd it right.) _

Castiel wasn't sure what he was gonna do. Dean hadn't spoken to him in a week now and Castiel felt so bad about it. Taking the angel tablet and leaving Dean there like that was the last thing he wanted to do. He knew Dean and Sam would safer if he did so. Because if he'd of stayed with them everyone after the angel tablet would gone and used them as bait so Castiel had to make it seem like he didn't care about them. He had just leave Dean there alone. He had to leave without saying a word. He would do anything to have Dean talk to him again now it was over. He would give Dean all the money in the world. Give him every second of time he had. Give him every star in the sky. How was he going to just say that?

There is nothing Castiel wouldn't do. He did go shopping but that was a nightmare. The shop was out of pie. It was like Castiel was never going to get the mans approval or trust again. It killed him to think it but he knew he was right. He had been stupid and he should have told Dean that before he just left him there like that. Everything Dean wanted Castiel would give to him. He just wanted him to talk again. Even if he was just telling him to go away. He wanted Dean to just acknowledge his presence.

"Morning Dean" Castiel said when Dean finally rolled out of bed. "Can I make you breakfast?" Dean just walked past him.

Even Sam wanted to know what was going on.

"Why don't you just talk to him. His obviously sorry" Sam said one day to Dean.

"Theres no point talking to him and getting Friendly again if he'll just take off leaving me to miss him and worry. If I don't get attached it won't hurt so much when he leaves!" Dean admitted.

No one knew that he felt this way and the only reason he said it at that point was because he didn't know Castiel was listening. He just thought Castiel was looking out the window doing nothing.

Later that day, Dean was sitting on his bed. Head in hands thinking. Maybe he was out of order to Cas. Maybe he should say sorry. After love is setting your heart to be broken but trusting the holder not to break it... Wait love? No. He didn't hear Castiel sneak in. Too busy being caught up in his own thoughts. He didn't even notice Castiel was there until Castiel was knelling in front of him pulling his hands away from his face. When Dean's green eyes meet Castiel's blue one there was no time to stop it, Castiel just kissed him. Dean wasn't sure what was going on, not at first. Then he knew what was happening and he was going to push Castiel away when he thought to himself, _'this actually feels nice.' _

"Be mine?" Castiel begged he was now on Dean's bed too. Not far away from his face, knelling there. His knees either side of Dean's legs.

"Of corse" Dean replied with a smile.


	24. Never say never

**Song 24: The Fray - Never say never...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it. The song was perfect. It did take me a long time to work out. There just so many different ways to write it. So many directions to take it in. But I defently enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it. This song was a nightmare to write.) _

So here they are. Dean and Castiel. Alone. Sam said that they had to talk and he wasn't letting either of them out of the closet until they did and he was a trained hunter so he could tell if they were lying about it or not.

"I don't hear no talking!" Sam shouted as he typed away on his laptop.

"Can't you just fly out of here anytime you want?" Dean asked Cas who was standing in the corner, in the most awkward way that was possable.

"But I - I don't want to" Castiel said quietly, Dean looked up at him. "We need to talk."

Dean was sitting with his knees up, his arms across them and his chin resting on them.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" he asked the angel.

"I was afraid you wouldn't listen"

"I always listen to you"

"No. You don't. Especially when your angry" Dean could hear the hurt in Castiel's voice. "I understand that there are things you'd rather not talk about. Things you think we can do without and we both hold a smile about it. But you never seem to wonder if I want to talk about it. The only reason I don't bring it up is because I don't want to hurt you by bringing it up."

"Cas, you can tell me anything you know that. That's what being a couple is all about" Dean assured him.

"We seem to fall in and out of love and falling out of it hurts, when we are in it it feel amazing but -"

"What!"

"I often wonder if it's worth it. I wonder if maybe we never should have gotten together. If we didn't when we argue wouldn't hurt so much" Castiel went and sat next to Dean.

"You saying you don't want to be with me?"

"No. I'm just saying I often wonder what would have happened if we never did"

"Cas. Honey, you know what happen. You'd still be the geeky angel that comes and goes, the one that never sticks around and I'd have meaningless sex with women because it takes my mind of things. You can't walk out on me. I need you!" Dean admitted.

"Dean, I'm not going to walk out on you. I can't even if I wanted to, I love you to much" Castiel smiled at him.

"You can't say things like that to me Cas. You just - you just can't. You can never say never, not to me. You can't let me go" Dean's hands were shaking at the thought of never seeing Castiel again. Castiel placed his hand over Deans,

"I won't. I couldn't. No matter how bad it gets I know that we will fix it. We always do and we always will. And if we don't, Sam will just lock us in a closet again. There is no way I could ever leave you. I love you, Dean."

"I love you too."

_I actually wrote this story about 3 times until I finally gave up and said, 'even if I don't like the next on I'll post it anyway.' Turns out I like this one. So I'm gonna post it anyway. I know it's short but you try writing a story based on a song. _


	25. Here without you

**Song 25: 3 Doors Down - Here without you...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

"Castiel, I know your busy and all" Dean said leaning forward in the chair, "I just wanna talk to you for awhile. I hope your safe and I hope you remember that you can always ask me for help. I miss you and I love you. Your more than welcome to pop on in."

"Dean are you coming to bed?" Came a shout down the stairs.

"I'm just locking up" Dean shouted back. He had finished locking up 5 minutes ago, he was, like always just praying to Castiel before going to sleep. "I love you Cas."

That night Dean couldn't sleep. The memory of the blue eyed angel running through his head. Lisa laying next to him, cuddling close, oblivious to the fact that he was wide awake and not going to sleep anytime soon. Remembering the way Cas's lips felt on his. Remembering the fun and wild nights they had. Remembering the fights, the laughs. The jokes. The times they had to care for each others injuries. Remembering the first time they meet. The sparks that flew when he first looked into Cas's eyes. The sound of his name. The way his tie was always crocked. His ruffled hair. How thick the locks felt in his fingers. He remembered everything.

Things just didn't seem the same now Cas and Sam were gone. He was dying to go hunting again, but Lisa said her and Ben were not getting involved with it. She made that clear. With Sam in the box and Castiel in heaven doing god knows what, he was alone. He always kept an eye out for things in the papers, things he used to hunt. He promised Sam and Lisa that he wouldn't go hunting again. But damn, he did miss getting dirty and dressing up and showing those fake ID's and digging all night until he ached. And have Cas's help him unwind afterwards.

"Cas, I need you. I do. Really. I need to know your ok. Why won't you just let me know your ok? At least. You owe me that much" Dean whispered being carful not to wake Lisa. Finally he closed his eyes and let sleep claim him.

_He was sitting on a dock. Just watching the lake. Peaceful, calm and silent. Then he layed back and then he heared some noise. He looked up and saw, Sam talking to Castiel and Bobby. Dean ran to them, _

_"Dean" Castiel smiled kissing him, "your here. We've been waiting for hours." _

_"Sorry, I couldn't - couldn't" _

_"We know. We've missed you" Castiel linked their fingers together. _

_"I miss you" _

_"I miss you too. We all do" _

_"It's good to see you son" Bobby beamed at Dean. _

_"Hey, Dean" Sam waved. _

_"It's good to see you. All of you" Dean was crying with joy and he didn't even know it. _

_"Then why are you crying?" Castiel asked, _

_"Because I'm happy. I have everything that matters to me. My true love. My geeky brother and the man who was like a father to me" Dean was at peace and he knew that he would have to wake and leave Castiel soon. But he didn't want to leave again. These dreams were the only things keeping him sane and if they always ended how could he carry on. _

_"Don't worry. We'll be waiting when you come back like we always are" Castiel rubbed Deans check with his thumb. _

_"I know" Dean smiled, pulling Cas into the water. _

_"Dean" he cried. Bobby, Sam and Dean all chuckled at the angel. "Dean, my coat." _

_"Then take it off. It'll dry" Dean laughed kissing the angel senseless in the water. _

_"You coming in Bobby?" Sam asked getting ready to jump in. _

_"No, I'll just sit here and watch y'all" Bobby smiled sitting on the bank. _

_"I don't wanna leave again" Dean pulled back gasping for air.  
"You have too. And you have to be strong about it. I'll see you soon enough" Castiel smiled into Dean's eyes, kissing his forehead. _

_"Soon enough is still to far away" Dean never wanted to let him angel go, "why can't you just come back to me?" _

_"I'm always with you Dean. You know that. Open your eyes more often and you'll see that I never really left." _

_"I never see you anymore. I miss you. A lot. And I need you, I can't believe you just went back" Dean was crying again. _

_"I just told you, I never really left. I arrive to you after all your prayers, you never see me because you close your eyes, to pray. You close your mind too. You mind needs to stay open, then you'll see me. I'm always there" Castiel dried Deans eyes and held him as tight as he could manage. _

_"Can you at least call me every now and then Bobby?" Dean asked looking up at the older man. _

_"Of corse I can son" Bobby nodded. _

_"Does this mean I have to wake up now?" Dean asked. _

_"Not yet. You can wake up whenever you like, but you will have to wake up at some point" Sam explained. "Sooner or later you have to live the life you could never have." _

_"I don't want it. I'll take out crazy, disfunctional, supernatural family over Ben and Lisa any day!"_

_"We know. But for a while at least. You deserve a break" Castiel rested his head on Dean's shoulder, "you have given so much. You deserve to take for a while. When you want to come back to chaos, you know where yo find us." _

_"I don't want to be here without you..." _


	26. Wrecking ball

**Song 26: Miley Cyrus - Wrecking ball...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

"I though you loved me!" Dean shouted trying to contain his anger and failing.

"I do" Castiel replied. How did he manage to keep his voice so calm and plain.

"Then why did you just walk away from me like that? You just - you just left me" Dean turned his back on the angel, trying not to make himself sound as hurt as he was. He has a reputation that we would like to uphold.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away" Castiel was raising his voice now too. Finally some emotion. "I will always want you. I always have, Dean!"

"A time I needed you the most. I just lost Sammy and you think it's ok to just leave and go back to heaven. A place full of people who never gave a rats ass about either of us!"

"From the day we first meet, I knew we were gonna be more than what we should be. I knew I would get too close, I knew I would care too much and I knew we would be more than friends and I would be more than just your guardian! I always knew you would be the one I would make sacrifices for. And I have!"

"Cas, what are you talking about?" Dean looked at Castiel, who was leaning against the table in the middle of the room. "Ever since the day I meet you, no matter how much love we were feeling and how amazing it felt, it wrecked us both. All the time. People were always using it against us! You're saying, you made sacrifices! I went back to Lisa and Ben because I thought you wanted to go back to heaven! I hate being alone, and you know that. I needed someone who would be there and since you weren't I had to go for the next best thing!"

"I went back to heaven because I thought you wanted to live with Lisa! I over heard you and Sam talking and he said you should go live some normal life. I'm the opposite of normal Dean. You wanted normal I gave it you. I left so you could get as far away from supernatural as possable. If that means I have to stop seeing you, just so you can be happy, it's worth it! So don't you dare think about saying I walked away! It was the hardest thing I have ever done! Walking away from someone you love, is not easy Dean. But I'd do it again if it was you wanted."

"Cas" Dean said, he could feel the tears in his eyes but he held them in. Cas was his boyfriend but there was no way he was gonna let the angel see him cry. "I didn't mean to start a fight Cas. I - I'm sorry. I only ever wanted you to let me in, and I went about it the wrong way and I know that. I - I love you Cas." Castiel looked up at Dean, finally their eyes meet and Dean let himself cry. He'd never said that anyone before and actually meant it.

"I love you too Dean" Castiel wiped away Dean's tears and took the hunter into his arms.

"Well that was awkward" Sam said, drawing attention himself. Dean chuckled.

"Sorry, Sam. Forgot you were there" Dean smiled at his baby brother.

"It's cool" he shrugged.


	27. A thousand years

**Song 27: Christiania Perry - A thousand years...**

_(This song was a request... I hope you like it.) _

Hello, my name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the lord and I must admit my faith is not as high as it should be but let me explain my reasons:

I have been alive for many years now. Ever since my - '_father' _deiced he was going to make life on earth, we knew how it would end, when it would end and who it would end with. Micheal and Lucifer, with Dean and Sam Winchester as their vessels. All the other angels were ok with that. I wasn't so sure but I couldn't say anything because I would be lectured about how it was our father plan and we weren't allowed to mess it up. At first I accepted that and we just got everything ready, helped all the animals evolve and get ready for the sun to finally set. It was a little while after we knew what was going to happen that our father started to deiced the Winchesters fate and how they would come to be ready for the fight. Were they would live, who their parents would be. Then he had tell the 'cupids' as humans like yourself call them, about the plan. Not directly because only four angels were allowed to see out father and they were, Micheal, Lucifer, Medatron and Ralpheal. It wasn't fair on any of us and we felt left out and was left with little faith about the hole thing. But we was then told we would be killed if we didn't believe so wee started learning to have faith. My faith was at first strong and there was no doubt in mind that what God wanted was best for everyone.

When we started learning about Sam and Dean Winchester. How their life was going to be and what was going to happen. Of corse our father knew what Lucifers plan was and how the demons were gonna help him. He knew what every demons role would be. When I learned this I felt sorry for the boys. From a young age they were gonna have to start learning about our world. I was upset that my father would do something like that. I asked Micheal if I could speak to him, but I was tossed aside. Then I learned about Sam. And what was going happen to him, how Dean was going feel and what he was going to do. I know how John Winchester would feel what he would do. I knew about Mary Winchester and I feel bad that I didn't do anything about it. The other angels were worried about my faith and my loyalty. That must have been the first time I ever saw Naomi. I was told I wouldn't remember it, I didn't. She erased my memory of it and it wasn't until recently I got it back. She drilled into my head and made be obedient. Then the angels stopped telling me about their plans and I went on the way I normally would. I did what I was told, I never asked questions.

Then one day, they called upon me. I guess they thought I could be trusted again. They told me what I had to do and they explained why it was important. So I made my way to hell. Batteling through purgatory and into the depth of earth core. I fought my way through many demons and many monsters. I passed the chamber of John Winchester and I told him about my mission for after all he deserve to know, I was there to save his son after all. He gave me a pleasant thank you and he smiled. Which at the time did seem strange since he was staying in hell to be tortured forever and I was saving his son but I later came to understand the strength of family and love (I'm getting ahead of myself again.) I made it to Dean's chamber and I bruised and I was bloody. I had to drag Dean's soul away from Alister. I had to fight my way again and that man held onto me every second of the way and no matter how badly hurt he was, he fought with me. I knew he wouldn't remember me when I put his soul back in his body. I knew I was going to have to remind him all over again. As soon and my hand touched his shoulder to drag him out of that pit, there was something I had never experience before.

The noble man behind me, his arms wrapped tightly across my chest, I dragged him out, slaying the demons on my way.

"Thank you but why?" he muttered as we neared his body's resting place.

"because it was gods command. Now hold still" I replied.

You see, placing a soul back into an empty vessel, be it theirs or someone else's, it's no walk in the park. (A phrase on just lately came to understand but yet again I'm getting ahead of myself.) I had to help his body out of the coffin and get above ground. When he finally came up I as called back to heaven. The next time I saw Dean Winchester I tried talking to him, knowing for well that his eyes could not see me or they will sese to exist after that. He was at a gas station. He didn't understand what I was trying to say. So I had to find my vessel. When I saw Dean Winchester, and the first time he saw me, I remember the plan. I remember that I loved him from the second I knew he was one day going to exist. That was when I was sent back to Naomi.

I rebelled against heaven and everything I ever knew for him. I bought him five more minutes to the end of the world, which his younger brother Sam managed to stop anyway. I watched over him while he tried to live a normal life. He didn't have feelings for me, (or so I thought. I'm getting ahead of myself again!) I did a bad job at dragging his brother out of hell. I only brought back half of him. I convinced myself that making the deal with Crowley was what he would suggest doing. I thought it would save him. If Ralpheal had taken over heaven, earth would be in even worse shape. I had to do it, didn't I? I was stupid and I ended up back stabbing Crowley anyway. I let power get the best of me and I felt so ashamed and I don't blame him for hating me at that point. Then I let Naomi get to me again, I almost killed Dean and I made him think I didn't trust him. I broke Sam's wall. I made him go insane. I cured him and Dean pushed me aside. Like I was nothing. I can't blame him, I was so stupid before. I trusted Medatron over him. I let the angels fall and even when Dean told me I shouldn't.

I felt so bad when Dean told me he didn't care about what I had done. And now here we are. Just sitting around, I don't even know what to say to him. He says it's ok. He says we'll work it out. Fix it. Theres nothing to fix. The other angels hate me. I don't blame them. I want Dean to know how sorry I am. I want him to know how I have felt all these years. Ever since I first heard about his existence. How was I meant to do that? He had been feeding me, helping me sleep. Helping me through my emotions. I guess, when you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I walked over to him and I sat on the bed next to him.

"Cas?" he said looking at me with a confused expression, Sam looked up from his laptop to watch what I doing. Before I could even understand what I was doing, I was kissing him. I took a long for me to understand what I was doing, and even longer to reliese he was kissing me back. "I didn't know you felt like that Cas" he said when I finally came up for air. Damn human's, why do they need air to breath, I was actually enjoying myself for the first time in a week since I got cast out of heaven. I was happy!

"I have loved you for a thousand years!" I said my forehead hitting his shoulder as I caught my breath. He just chuckled and pulled me into a hug.

I hope I explained my reasons for lack of faith clearly. I feel in love with a human and my grace was the last puzzle piece to sending the angels to earth. I alone caused the fall of my entire race but as soon as Dean took me in his arms, for the first time since it happened, I didn't care.


	28. Endlessly

**Song 27: The Cab - Endlessly...**

(This song was a request... I hope you like it. This song reminded me of the way Dean and Cas got married in fanfic I wrote on a different site, haha.)

Dean wasn't sure how to do this. He wasn't sure if he was meant to just come out and say it or if he had lead up to it. Him and Cas had been together for 3 years now and he was ready to commit to him fully. But thinking about saying and actually saying it are to different things.

"Cas" he said standing in front of the angel "I know my jeans are ripped -"

"I can fix them for you" Castiel suggested,

"No, Cas - Wait, you can do that? - No that's not the point. Will you just, let me finish" Dean begged,

"Sorry" Castiel said looking down at the floor.

"Just listen, ok, this isn't easy" Dean admitted taking hold of Castiel's hands, "I can't promise that this will be easy for either of us. You gotta believe when I say, you don't need a miracle. You gave me a miracle. You gave me yourself and that's all I'll ever need. I know I'm not an angel, I am just a hunter, a more or less human hunter. I will love you endlessly. No matter where we go, what we do. Even without those wings, you'd still have me and I'm the only thing you'll ever need. So the other angels think I'm crazy. But they only see me for the imperfect asshole who screwed them all over. But I'm perfect for you, Cas. And I need you, just like you need me. I love you Cas -"

"I love you too" Castiel smiled at the other man as he lowered himself onto one knee.

"Cas, will you marry me?" Dean asked pulling a ring out of his pocket,

"Dean -"

"I know it's not gold like a wedding ring should be, I promise I'll buy you a real one as soon as I can afford to. And -"

"Dean, you didn't let me finish" Castiel smiled lowering himself down so he was at Dean's level,

"Sorry, Cas" Dean smiled as Castiel picked the ring up,

"I know this ring wont fit me, but I can hang it around a chain and wear it like that, of corse I will marry you, Dean. I was begging to think you'd never ask me" just like that Castiel was in Deans arms. Dean was lost for words. He just kissed the angel romantically. Everything was perfect and it seem like it would never end. Dean couldn't wait to break the news to Sam and Bobby. He practically dragged the angel back to Bobby's.


	29. Angeles

**Song 29: Jensen Ackles and Steve Carlson- Angeles...**

(This song was a request... I hope you like it. I did try to write one based on the song Hurricane by 30 seconds to mars and I'm so sorry I couldn't do it. The song beat me. I really want to thank you all for still reading, I had no idea this idea of writing fanfics based on songs would go on for or be this long and I defently couldn't have done it without you guys so thank you, I love all.)

Meeting Castiel was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me; I don't know how I ever managed without him and what I would do if he just popped out one day and never came back. No matter what he does or what I do, I know we will somehow work it out because we always do and if one day I did something and he couldn't forgive me, I don't know what I'd do. Before I meet Cas, I was gambling, having random one night stands with random chicks. The relationship I have with Cas, is hard to explain, so don't as me to even try and explain it to you. Sometimes he seems more like a brother, other times a friend, sometimes a lost puppy but I always care about him and I do worry about him too. He doesn't know that I do and he doesn't need to know I do either, but I do. Let's keep that a secret between us, ok?

I remember when he healed Sam, he took on his hallucinations and there are no words to describe how grateful I am, that he would do that. I felt bad for not visiting him while he was in that mental hospital and I'm glad to know Meg looked after him, I'm glad she did, otherwise, god only knows what could have become of him. But Castiel is back now. It is good have Cas back. I've missed him. Again let's keep that between us! Now, Castiel may have fallen from heaven, he might have no grace left at all but he is still family. Angel or human he still matters to me. He always has. I think it's cute the way Castiel will just suddenly start talking about random things, it can get frustrating especially if me and Sam are talking about something important and then Castiel just mention something about birds or whatever, but I do still think it's cute. (Keep that between us too. If anyone beside you knew I don't what I do. So I'm trusting you!)

Castiel making that deal with Crowley, I forgive him and I understand that he couldn't come to me for help after all I did give up hunting for a while and I forgive him for that. I forgive him for breaking Sam's wall, I forgive him for everything he has ever done because - that's what family does. They forgive each other for what they do no matter how bad. Does it bother me that Castiel is human now? Not really, I think it might good for him, as weird as it sounds. Now the poor bastard can finally get laid and understand human needs, like eating, sleeping, keeping clean. Emotions too, I'm more than happy to help him deal with those after all the guy has seen me break down so many times I'm beginning to lose count. It means a lot that he sticks with me, after everything I've done.

Castiel has become very important to me, and I'm not sure if I trust you enough to tell you anymore... I might as well, I've told you most of it already anyway. It all stays between us! ...I love him, or at least I think I do. I don't mean like you would love a friend or a brother, I love him like he was my boyfriend or my husband.

Now I'm sitting here, on the bed, Castiel sitting in the corner feeling sorry for himself, can't say I blame him, the poor dude lost his angel mojo. The stuff he used for everything is now gone. I wish there was something I could do to make him feel better. I got up, Sam, (that's my little brother) looked at me and followed me with his eyes as I crossed the room. I sat on the floor in front of Cas and moved his hands away from his face.

"You know we don't blame you, right?" I whispered holding his hands on the floor.

"I know but -" I never let the blue eyes man finish. I felt like I was possessed or something when I kissed him. Like I was in some kind of trance but it was more than that. It actually felt rather, nice.

Remember everything I told you to keep between us? You might as well just tell him now. Why does the son-of-a-bitch have to be so adorable?

"Cas" I said pulling away to breath, "I'm so glad I met you."

"I'm glad I met you too, Dean" Castiel layed his head on my shoulder as he drew in breaths. That kiss, was and still is the best kiss I have ever had.


	30. Home

**Song 30: Philip Philips - Home...**

(This song was a request... I hope you like it. Sorry that I'm taking long breaks between chapters, I've been ill and busy later but since I'm all better and now have a lot of time on my hands I will try to update sooner.)

Castiel didn't know where they were going, he hadn't been bothered to ask. Dean had that expression on his face that just made you not want to ask questions. Castiel was worried. Sam and Dean had gone their separate ways and Dean just hadn't been the same since. Dean had been doing this a lot to Cas lately, just tell him to get in the impala and they would drive. But this time it was different. They normally went down the same road every time and would sit to watch the stars on the impala hood. Castiel didn't recognise this road. It was dark and gloomy. The trees were tall and thick, he couldn't see through them or over them. Dean's breathing was the only sound that broke the silence. Castiel wished Dean would just tell him what was wrong. Dean was hurting but he was so stubborn that he wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even Cas.

"Dean" Castiel finally said, "I'm worried about you."

Dean sighed, "I'm fine Cas."

"Where are we going?" Castiel asked, his eyes not leaving the hunters determine face.

"You'll know when we get there" Dean replied. It was clear that he didn't want to talk right now, but Castiel still had questions.

"You miss him don't you?"

"Who?"

"Sam. You're brother" Castiel said,

"We're better of apart" Dean told him sternly. "His safer away from me and I'm safer away from him."

"So you told him to walk away, so he would be safe?" Castiel asked again.

"Why are you being so nosy?"

"I'm worried about you. Your hurting but you wont tell me why and I just want to make you happy again. You were happy once. I just miss seeing you smile" Castiel shrugged.

Dean sighed again, "I'm fine Cas. I'm not your responsabilty. How about you? You doing alright?"

"Yes, Dean I am very well. Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine!" Dean shouted.  
"Ok, sorry" Castiel apologized. He hated seeing Dean like that.

"Look, Cas, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at you but, I'm ok. Really" Dean smiled at the angel before turning is face back to the road, his smile dropping as he did so. Castiel took Deans hand without any hesitation. Dean didn't seem to notice and if he did, he didn't mind at all. It felt nice for someone to worry him rather than having to worry about them. "We're here" Dean said pulling over.

"It's a cemetery" Cas observed.

"Yeah, uh - my mum was buried here and I wanted to - I wanted to visit her, it had been awhile since anyone has been here since, dad died" Dean explained walking in the gate Castiel still holding his hand.

"I'm sorry, would you rather be alone with her?" Castiel asked.

"If I wanted to come alone I wouldn't have brough you. I've never been to her grave alone and I just wanted her to meet you" Dean smiled at the blue eyes man beside him.

"I'd like to meet her too" Castiel smiled back following Dean to her grave stone.

When they were there Dean snaked his hands around Castiel's arm, making even less space between the two men. Castiel didn't mind it much, Dean was his friend and if Dean needed to feel close to someone right now then what kind of friend would Cas be if he denied Dean that?

"Hi mum" Dean said, his voice shaking as he stopped in front of her grave. "Uh - This - this is Castiel. His an angel, and my best friend. I thought you might want to meet him. He - he is a great man and I only wish you could meet him in person."

"It's an honer to meet you ma'am" Castiel bowed in Mary's direction before he flicked his eyes in Dean's direction.

"I - I miss you. I wish you were here and Sam's safe. I - I promise, I'm doing my best here mum. But - I - I just don't know anymore" as tears ran down the hunters checks, Castiel pulled Dean into his embrace, his wings closing the hunter in. Dean dug his fingertips into te trench coat the angel wore.

"It's ok, Dean. I'm with you" Castiel whispered in Dean's ear, his voice sounded like music as Dean cried.

Castiel planted a kiss on Deans check and led his back to the care after placing some fresh flowers on his mothers grave.

"Let's go home" Castiel said his hands over Dean's.

"Cas, I'm sorry you have to me like this"

"You've looked worse"

Dean smiled and lent forwards, him and Cas were now nose to nose and then Dean lent in, just that little bit more and softly kissed Castiel's lips. Castiel's lips greeted Deans with a smile.

"Just know that you're not alone" Castiel breathed as Dean pulled away. "Your safe in my arms."

"I am home, when I'm in your arms" Dean smiled.

Up in heaven, Mary Winchester smiled down at her son. He'd finally found love and he was finally home again. Now she really could rest in peace.


	31. Love me tender

**Song 31: Elvis Presley - Love me tender...**

(This song was a request... I hope you like it.)

So this is it. The big day.

"You ready?" Sam asked his older brother as he stood at the alter waiting for the arrival of his lovely fiance.

"As I'll ever be" Dean whispered back. There was the music that signaled Castiel's arrival. Dean turned to watch the love of his life walk down the isle and hold his hands with a smile.

"Dearly beloved were are gathered here today... I am aware you prepared your own vow's am I correct?" the vicar asked looking at them.

"Yeah" Dean said, clearing his throat so everyone could hear him, he looked into Castiel's eyes and smiled, "I promise to love you tender and sweetly. I promise to never let you go, since I first saw you, my life was complete. There is no way I could love anyone more than I love you. I promise to love you true because you fulfilled all my dreams by just being you. I love you my darling and I always will" Dean placed that ring on Castiel's finger and wiped the angels eyes as tears fell from them.

Castiel took a deep breath, he was shaking, he was so happy.

"Castiel" the vicar said, "it's your turn."

"Oh right" Castiel finally came back down to earth, looked into Dean's eyes and sighed lovingly,

"I promise to love you tender and long. You took me into your heart and now I know that is where I truly belong, we will never be apart as long as you carry me inside your heart. I promise to love you dear, You are mine and I will be your though all the years now until the end of time and even then I will love you still." Castiel put the ring on Dean's finger. They stood there for a few more seconds just staring into each others eyes.

"You may now kiss you partner" the vicar said. As Dean and Castiel's lips met clapping filled the air.

"How could life ever have such a perfect moment?" Castiel asked as Dean pulled away.

"Because my life brought be you" Dean replied, taking his husbands hand they walked down the isle.

The rest of the day was the best day anyone could ever ask for. They had their first dance to _'__I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing – Aerosmith__' _It was a song both men could agree on. They cut the cake, you don't know how long it took Castiel to convince Dean to say yes to having cake instead of pie. He had to promise they could have pie for dessert instead and they did.

"Thank you" Dean said, his forehead leaning against Cas's as they danced.

"For what" Castiel looked at him confused.

"For loving me. Turning my life into a fairytale.

"I should be thanking you, how many times have you save my ass?" Castiel smiled at his husband his arms around his shoulders.

"I love you Cas"

"I love you too Dean" Castiel kissed Dean's lips softly.

(Short and sweet...I guess.)


	32. I don't wanna miss a thing

**Song 32: Aerosmith - I don't wanna miss a thing...**

Castiel layed next to Dean as he slept. Castiel loved hearing the sound of Dean's breathing. It properly sounded really cliche and goofy, but Castiel didn't care. As Dean smiled in his sleep, that made Castiel smile to. Dean cuddled closer to Castiel in his sleep and Castiel chuckled a little, tightening his grip on the sleeping hunter. Castiel feared to close his eyes. Even if he dreamed of Dean, dreaming wasn't the same of living it. Castiel could feel Dean's heartbeat. Soft and steady. It was one of the most beautiful sounds Castiel had ever heard. He loved the sound of Dean's voice, the sound of his breath and the sound of his heart. Every noise Dean made was beautiful to him. As Castiel laid there, watching Dean sleep he was wondering what he could be dreaming about. Was is Castiel he was seeing?

Castiel kissed Dean's closed eyes and thanked his father for creating something so perfect. "I love you, Dean Winchester" he whispered in the mans ear. In his sleep, Dean heard his boyfriends voice and pulled him even closer into his body. Castiel sighed, why did he deserve Dean. After everything he did, did he really deserve something so pure and wonderful? There was no way Castiel could go to sleep, not while Dean was looking so adorable. Castiel curled his wings around Dean's body, pulling him in closer and protecting him.

The next morning Dean woke up to see Castiel smiling at him.

"Morning" Dean grounded, kissing Castiel's perfect, pink lips. "Why are you up so early?"

"I didn't sleep" Castiel confessed, blushing.

"Why?" Dean turned around so he could face Castiel properly, "what was keeping you awake?"

"You were. You looked so cute, sleeping. I didn't want to go sleep because... I'd miss you" Castiel looked away.

"Aw, Cas" Dean was blushing now too, he pulled Castiel into a hug. "That was sweet. I missed you too."

"I love you, Dean"

"I love you too, baby."


	33. Coward of the county

**Song 33: Kenny Rogers - Coward of the county.**

(Damn, it's been a long time since I wrote a song that wasn't a request. So, I'm writing this one. I hope you enjoy. I have to note, this fic is not based in the normal supernatural world. Dean is no hunter, Cas is no angel. I hope you still enjoy. It's short but after hearing this song, I just had to write a fic based on it. I'm sorry it's short, I was a hard song to write but I couldn't resist it.)

Castiel's dad died when he was ten and he had to go live with his Uncle Chuck and his cousins, Gabriel and Balthazar. His hole life people had called him yellow. He never really stood up for himself, he never started fights or did anything harmful in anyway. Chuck always knew, everyone was wrong about Cas. He wasn't a coward because he refused to fight, not fighting made him the strongest of them all. Chuck sat on the couch, watching the boys out the window as they played outside, as he watched the way the boys treated Castiel, he thought about his brother and he remembered the last words his brother had said to Castiel.

_'__Promise me, son__, n__ot to do the things I've done__. __Walk away from trouble if you can__, n__ow it don't mean you're weak__ i__f you turn the other cheek__ a__nd I hope you're old enough to understand__, Castiel__, you don't have to fight to be a man__' _Then he remembered hearing Castiel reply,_ 'I promise' _as the police men took his father away.

Everyone has someone they love, Castiel was in love Dean Winchester. When Castiel was with Dean, there was no need to prove how manly he was. Dean loved Castiel just the way he was. One day, Castiel had gone shopping, leaving Dean alone in the house. One this day, the town hot shots, Crowley and Alister payed Dean a visit. They starting beating Dean up, saying if he fought back they'd find Castiel and they'd beat him up too. So Dean just had to stand there and take it. It wasn't easy for him, but he feared for Castiel's safety. Castiel was so weak and fragile, Dean couldn't leave without him. Castiel walked back in his front door, he could see tears forming his boyfriends eyes and it made him cry too.

"Dean" Castiel whisper softly to him, taking the lager man in his arms, "what's the matter."

"They got to me, Cas" Dean sobbed.

"Who?"

"Crowley and Alister."

"Shh. I got you."

Castiel looked at the photo of his dad, that he kept on the fireplace. He could hear his dads last words in his head.

_'__Promise me, son__, n__ot to do the things I've done__. __Walk away from trouble if you can__, n__ow it don't mean you're weak__ i__f you turn the other cheek__ a__nd I hope you're old enough to understand__, Castiel__, you don't have to fight to be a man__' _

Castiel never forgot what those guys did and one day as he walked into the barroom, he saw the two of them there having drinks as the bartender, Ruby, served them. Castiel turned around,

"Hey look, the angels leaving" came a voice.

Something inside Castiel snapped. You could have heard a pin drop. Castiel locked the door, and turned to Crowley and Alister. He stopped holding his anger back. He just let everything go. So many years of crawling and letting everyone take advantage of him, it felt good to finally let it all out. When Castiel finally left, not one of the boys was standing.

"This one's for Dean" and he punched Crowley in the face and watched him hit the floor. Ruby just looked at him; shocked and lost for words. As Castiel left the room, he meet Dean outside and he whispered up to his dad, heaven or hell, where ever he had gone.

"I promised you, Dad, not to do the things you've done. I walk away from trouble when I can; now please don't think I'm weak, I didn't turn the other cheek. Papa, I should hope you understand: sometimes you gotta fight when you're a man."

"I love you Castiel" Dean said as he put his arms around him.

"I love you too" Castiel sighed, leaning his forehead against Deans.


	34. I love you always forever

**Song 34: Donna Lewis - I love you always forever.**

(This song was a request, enjoy)

Dean was laying on the sofa, Castiel tangled up in his arms, snuggling into him. Warm, safe. Sam had gone out with some women he met at the bar and hadn't come back yet. Dean felt like he was lost in a deep cloud, so comfortable and soft. His angel was just laying on top of him, breathing and it was one of the most magical moments a person could ever have. It was one of those moments where there was no need for words. A moment when you can just be together and every little breath or movement tells you all you need to know.

The summer rain outside came dripping down the window sile. The sound disturbed the silence but it didn't ruin the moment. The night was so blissful that the rain only made this moment more perfect. Dean wriggled a little underneath Castiel, causing him groan a little.

"Don't worry, Cas. I'm not going anywhere, just getting comfortable" Dean whispered. As a little formed on Castiel's face when Dean was still again, Dean sighed lovingly. Castiel had such a beautiful smile.

"I love you always forever" Castiel whispered in the silence.

"I know" Dean smiled back, his hand caressing Castiel's back. "I love you too."

Silence fell again.

As they contuied to lay there, Dean looked down at Castiel those blue eyes were. Cas's eyes almost had Dean melting away. Castiel turned his head placing his chin on Deans chest and looking into his green eyes. Slowly Dean kissed the top of his head, stroking his hair. Dean pulled back and looked into those blue pools once again. Castiel just started back at him. How could their lives ever have such a perfect moment? What did they do to deserve a love like this? Castiel's head turned again, the side of his face meeting Deans chest and Dean returning his hands to Castiel's back. The only sound was their breathing and the rain on the windows. They could feel each others heartbeats match with their own. It was like their hearts beat as one.

"Cas, will you love me for the rest of my life?" Dean whispered.

"No" Cas replied, when Dean looked at him, Castiel kissed him softly, "I'll love you for the rest of mine."


End file.
